justin

nothin left to say
2001-11-10 19:15:45 (UTC)

parents

fuckin parents. everything i do is never good enough for
them. both of them got their PHDs from MIT and put all this
bullshit pressure on me. dad believes he knows how the
world works so he tells me and my brothers we are both
gonna be failures. he says "why does everyone else have
good kids and I have bad ones?" fucking dick snot. i want
to kill him. he never listens to my arguments, only using
sarcasm to rebuff them. too bad he doesnt know sarcasm is a
sign of weakness. at least mom is gone until tuesday. i
cant stand my father. at least i can stand mom. at least
she cares. my dads just a piece of shit. if i ever live to
have kids, i swear to God i will not be like him. i hope he
dies. he won't be missed. all my parents believe in is
grades and school. that is their only value. and my dad
loves baseball. not his sons. im just not good enough for
them. i'm a good student too. i had an overall gpa of 3.91
last year. they didnt appreciate that i wasnt 4.0. its like
they want me to be a machine. they criticize me for waking
up at 9:30 on saturday because its "too late." my mind is a
emotional wreck and i need some time to myself just to be
alone. but they dont understand that. the only things they
believe in are school and baseball. my dad doesnt care if i
am depressed and suicidal. just as long as i get good
grades. fuck him. LIFE isn't about keeping score. It's not
about how many people call you. It's not about who you've
dated,dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who
you've kisssed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl
likes you.It's not about your shoes, your hair, what color
skin you are, or where you live or go to school. In fact,
it;s not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that
accept you or not. Life just isn't about that. But life's
about who you love and who you hurt. It's about trust,
happiness, and overcoming ignorance. Building confidence.
It's about what you say, and what you mean. It's about
seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most
of all it's how you use your life to touch someone else in
a way that could have never been achieved otherwise, he
just doesnt understand that. later


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