Pish posh
2001-11-10 13:15:59 (UTC)

The Failure of Youth with a Dash of Hot Stuff

I am dissappointed in my school...if, on the night of the
bonfire, even I could muster a little school spirit, what
was wrong with everyone else? Of course, the presentations
were not exactly scintillant, but, at the same time, the
point is to get riled up. So...get riled up, I say.
Otherwise, of course it will suck.

I've got some hot stuff baby this evening, I've got some
hot stuff baby tonight...

Sitting here eating my heart out baby, waiting for someone
from back home.

I seriously contemplated going with Chris, just to hang out
with him while he smoked. Couldn't muster the nerve, and
with good reason; in addition, I am always the one who gets
caught. Wouldn't want to put that burden on him...or any
others. Jen was so shocked, though, so wide-eyed amazed
mouth hanging agape caught by surprised that I was almost
reduced to the same state. Here she is, a senior in high
school, and can't believe that people she knows do drugs. I
don't pretend to be a free-ballin, crack-dealing bad ass,
and, in a way, it's purely by chance that I've realised the
widespread use among my friends. Still...
I feel distanced from my friends, lately, and not just by
the stretch of campus that lies between us. Because I don't
see them, the truth of their personalities emerge. Seeing
some of them in that light reminds me of the reason I
became friends with them in the beginning: they were
friends with the people with whom I hung out. A basis for a
relationship, yes, but not a very stable one, nor one that
holds up under pressure. And so, the number of people who I
actually look forward to seeing dwindles constantly.
Granted, I have a lot more superficial relationships, and
when I see my true friends, we have better conversations
than in the past. Loss of...well, not sexual,
but...innocence...for at least the second time. Haven't I
been here before?

I'm looking for some hot stuff baby this evening...