The Nine Faces of Dave
what the hell was that stupid MTV dating game takeoff?
What's it take for me to get a date? I don't mean to sound
cheesy, but I seriously don't know. Several things hamper
me in this regard, including my weight and a lack of
popularity. I think the worst part is my lack of
information. I don't know what girls want, and nobody seems
willing to tell me. Plus, any time I find myself interested
in some girl, I have no way of knowing whether she's
available. I'm not in The Loop, my friends certainly
aren't, and my perception is completely worthless, so I
can't gather info from all that comes into my field of
awareness. This is the big thing stopping me from taking a
few gambles I'd like to take. I can't think of much that
would make me feel more foolish than the following:
Me: "What say I take you to dinner Friday night?"
Girl: "Uh, Dave, if you're going where I think you're going
with this, you're even more unaware than I thought. I'm
already with somebody."
Me: "Oh...sorry, I had no idea."
Of course, the scenario in which the girl is available
doesn't play out much better in my head:
Me: "How'd you like to go catch a movie Saturday night?"
Girl: "*Random line about being busy or something which
strongly suggests that I don't even merit an honest response
like 'sorry, I'm really not interested.'*"
Me, after conversation is over: (to myself) "Well, I fucked
Now the worst part of this is that I most likely have some
sort of platonic relationship with the askee, which will
then be completely destroyed by my foolishness. This sort
of thing strikes me as rather egotistical on the part of
anyone who pulls this "you asked me out, now I can never
speak to you again" bullshit. This shows that they either
have no faith in the other person's capability to relate on
a platonic basis, or they consider themselves so high up
that the other person's proposition was a grand insult.
Speaking from the perspective of someone who's been through
that shit twice, I must say it tends to lower the victim's opinion
of the perpetrator. Everyone who does that, male or female, seriously
needs to lighten up and stop taking everything so damn personally.
Try a free new dating site? Short sugar dating