*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
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2001-11-09 05:16:27 (UTC)

THOUGHTS WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP

Well, I haven't been making my daily entries like I'm
suppose to. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to hit this
thing up. I have a lot on my mind and I should have done
this last nite when all this mess started. Okay, Leroy
emailed me back last nite. Oh my gosh, when I got the alert
on my phone I was so happy. After I finished the email....I
cried. Here's the email:

yeah whats up nigga...!!!......i know it took a minute but
my schedule is sorta hected ( is that how u spell it) and i
at least wanted 2 write a little bit 2 let u know i'm
thinking of u....and that i got your email...u know that
shit was 2 long 2 be reading.....j/k....but i'm in a very
good mood right now and i feel like joking a little....but
on the serious.....i've been thinking bout your email and
i'm glad u told me the things u told me....i hate that u
wouldn't want 2 be with me again in the future but thats
cool 2...maybe i'll change your mind when i'm banking 1
day.. :)....for sum reason i do c us together later in
life.....but thats on a different story....anyway....about
the last time i wuz at home....i made planz 2 c u but stuff
just doesn't work out how u expectwhen u're gone from home
such long periods of time and u only have 1 day and a half
2 do everything.....maybe i'll get 2 c more of u when i
THINK we get 2 come home for thanksgiving....if we do get
off, we'll get like 5 or 6 dayz i think..so that'll be
nice.....i'm looking forward 2 it..... and about the sex
thing....i'm very glad 2 hear u haven't given up on me and
u not down there being hot....thats good 2 know...but if
its suppose 2 happen with me...it'll happen.....but whats
going on in the ville???.....i never thought i'd be
thinking of it so much...but i do....i've sorta adapted 2
up here and i've made plenty of friends and ei'thing...it
really does feel like home up here now.....i've met a new
friend and we're getting sorta close.... i didn't want it 2
happen but now its happening....i wanted 2 come here and
not get tied down 2 any1....but she has my heart flipping
sorta and i know hers is 2....but i'm gonna hate 2 tell
her "no" about a relationship...but she'll
understand.....she reminds me of u physically....but i'm
sure u don't wanna hear about her so i'll stop.....whose
your friend down there now??..... but i'm bout 2 go read
sum more of jurassic park for a class and chill so i'll
hopefully see u soon...bye babe///Leroy

Can you pick out the part that made me darn cry. I
mean, I'm glad that he felt he could tell me that, but come
on...did he have to say that SHE reminded him of
me....physically...hell, any kind of way for that matter.
I think that's what started the waterworks for me. I didn't
cry a lot or anything, but I did let the tears out. I don't
know. I don't want to go through this anymore. It's kinda
like, he'll give me so much to hang on to, so I'll be here
for him....then he'll give me something so I know not now.
I don't know!!!!!!!!! Man, but I told myself that I will
not let this get the best of me. After this entry, this
will be the last I will think of it.

Other than that mess, I've found happiness. There is
this boy name Rufus. Lawd, the name is jacked up, but I
like this boy. He's a junior....compared to me being a
SENIOR! Age is not a thing with him. I don't know what it
is, but there is something about him. I like being around
him and I like talking to him. I guess I will see what
happens. *J*


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