lindsay ann

somewhere in between
2001-11-08 23:38:46 (UTC)

in defense of myself

sometimes i just feel like nobody's getting the point of
who i am or what i'm all about. so i wrote all this junk
during school today cuz common misconcpetions were on my
mind:

1. JOE IS NOT THE CENTER OF MY LIFE
he's not the focus of my prayers, the topic of all my
conversations, or the first thing i see when i wake up in
the morning. i don't think he's a saint, i don't think
he's FANTASTIC, i don't think he's my "dream guy". i don't
think of him every minute or every hour. the only reason i
think of him on a day-to-day basis is that somebody bugs me
about him, which brings me to my next point...

2. JOE ME= NOTHING
some people are still confused by this. joe doesn't like
me. we're not going out. we didn't break up. we are
not "waiting for each other" or "taking it slow". we're
also not enemies and i don't hate him, ok?

3. I'M MY OWN GRANDPA (UHH...)
actually, i'm my own person. i'm not a mini-marisa, a
part of a clique, the daughter of that guy on TV, or the
girl who went out with the army guy. i mean, although only
2 of those things are offensive, none of those things
define me as me. i'm lindsay, and although i might be
influenced by some people, i do most of my thinking with my
own brain. i'd take it as a compliment if you called
me "that christian girl" but other than that i don't want
to be branded.

4. I DON'T THINK I'M BETTER THAN CAMERON HIGHFIELDS
this is a minor point but it should be said. while i
believe that an OCHS education is somewhat more challenging
than an ACHS education, i also think that there are people
at ACHS that are smarter than OCHS students. i also don't
think that i am any better or cooler or smarter than any of
you people reading this. any jokes i make along those
lines are simply insecurities.

5. ONE LAST REQUEST
it says in the bible not to be a stumbling block for other
christians even if you don't struggle with what they do.
so here's my request:

don't tell me joey stories. don't poke me when he
talks. don't bring me pictures of him. don't purposely
get us to sit by each other or end up in the same car or
whatever. don't tell me how good he looks. don't ask why
i've never "asked him out". don't torture me when he's
online by asking if i'm talking to him. although those are
all things that i would have appreciated a year ago, right
now they don't help matters at all.
so just help me out, ok? i want not ot like him but
it's hard with the things people do. all i ask is that
you'll not steer me back to the very thing i'm trying to
escape. thaaaanks for listening/reading and i love you so
much.




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