My rather boring life
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2001-11-08 19:06:51 (UTC)

Losing my religion

FYI - Did you know that that song is actually about losing
one's temper? Down here in the south, "losing my religion"
means "losing my temper." I saw that on Pop-Up Video once.

I just got out of the shower, and now I'm all squeaky clean!
I get to see Bill today at 3:00. Oh what fun.

I took a test thingie at www.selectsmart.com (no, not a
plug, just a fact) and the test I took told me I'd make a
good Taoist. I looked around the web for some info on
Taoism. Taoism I could do. It reminds me a bit of Buddhism.
And now for the big question of the day: What religion am I?

I'm extremely open-minded, which is weird considering how I
grew up. Mommy was raised Roman Catholic. Daddy was raised
Protestant. Based on how each acts to the other's beliefs,
now I can see why parents tell their kids to marry within
the same belief. I know Catholics and Protestants are both
Christians, just a tad bit different. But my parents blew
everything out of proportion, so growing up, I always
thought Catholics and Protestants were different religions.
I alternated churches every Sunday. One Sunday I was
Catholic, the other day I was Protestant. It's really
confusing for a child. After a while, my dad kinda got busy
(i.e. got shipped off to war in the middle east) so then I
was Catholic every Sunday. Whil my dad was away, my mom made
some new friends. I don't remember what denomination they
practiced, but they convinced her to drop Catholicism and go
to their church. Of course, my sister and I were dragged
along. I didn't like that church. Those people scared me. I
still have bad dreams about seeing the preacher speaking
incoherently and convulsing on the floor. I was told he was
filled with the "spirit of the holy ghost." Yeah fucking
right. I say he smoked too much crack that morning. We only
stayed at that church for a few months. Then my mom decided
to switch to baptist. At that time, my dad had just come
back from the Persian Gulf. I guess war does funny things to
guys because he didn't seem to mind converting to baptism,
having been a hard core Protestant all his life. I didn't
care for that particular church. I guess in the late 80's or
early 90's, gay bashing became the biggest craze. The
preacher preached against it a lot. He managed to brainwash
my mother. She often gave us lectures on what was morally
right and wrong. Back then, just like today, I take
everything my mom says with a grain of salt. I didn't think
homosexuals were evil, no matter how much she preached it. I
don't think it's wrong. They're not hurting anyone, so
they're not bad people. They just choose to live a different
lifestyle. If anything, I think my mom is a bad person for
being so quick to condemn.

Skip ahead a few years. Jackie enters high school. My oh my
was that an eye-opening experience. I learned the joys of
other races, creeds, colors, religions, and all that jazz.
The more and more I learned, the more and more I realized
how much I didn't like my parents' beliefs. I'm not saying I
dislike Christianity, or God, or Jesus, and whatnot. I'm
just saying I can't stand those people who interpret it in a
bad way and start doing bad things on behalf of
Christianity. It's so dumb how some white supremecists use
the Bible to back up their trains of thought. I don't
remember god or his apostles saying anything about "let's go
hate someone because they're different." I think racism of
any kind is dumb. But that's not the subject. I guess the
point I'm trying to make is that I prefer a religion that's
a little more passive. I don't like the thought of a
vengeful god who says you have to believe only in him or
you'll go to hell. I don't think that's very nice.

What religion am I? I don't know. I don't claim any one
religion. I think all religions are fair game. I think
practicing any religion is a good way to help set your
morals and stuff. But the religion that appeals most to me
is Buddhism. I like it a lot. It's very passive, and the guy
they follow isn't a complete dickhead. If I'm not mistaken,
I do believe that when Buddha died, he said he didn't want
to be worshipped as a god. I'm not sure how all the
Busshists feel, but I don't worship him as a god. I just
look to him for guidance and inspiration. I won't sacrifice
a pig to him or anything. I'll just admire him. He gives me
a lot of hope. He was once an average person, just like me.
But he found a way to end his suffering and transcend the
world. If he can do it, I think I can too ^_^

Feeling the way I do about religion has put me in a bit of a
pickle. My mom isn't too fond of it, but I'm sure that
doesn't surprise you. She and I will never have a good,
civilized discussion about what I believe. Everytime I
mention it, she either comdemns me or tries to impose her
beliefs on me. It's understandable. Wouldn't you want your
children to have the same morals and the such as you? Not
me. I'd rather my children have the right to feel how they
want to feel, no matter how much I don't agree with it.
First Amendment, people.

I suppose this is a rather pointless entry. I just thought
it would be nice to communicate my two cents about religion.

What do you think about religion? Have a comment? Want to
debate? Want to flame? You can reach me at
[email protected]