2001-11-08 00:28:21 (UTC)

Well, today was somewhat better..

Well, today was somewhat better than yesterday... which
really doesn't say much. Things were just pretty normal but
compared to the violent rage I was in yesterday, things are
going pretty well. I haven't really threatened to kill
anyone today, so things are much better.
Not the the situation has changed any. If anything, that
stuff has just gotten worse. The jerk is still coming to my
school... the ex friends of mine are still hanging around
and being dumb. The backstabber sent me another damn
forward today. I mean, forwards themselves are annoying
enough most of the time, but when they're from someone you
hate with a violent passion, and get frustrated when you
see your ex's email address and all his friends email
addresses on there ... Arg. They're more than just
I just put the MP3 of 'Con te Patrio' by Andrea Bocelli on
to attempt to relax. It seems to be working.
this guy i kinda sorta like maybe kind of ISH doesn't have
a girlfriend. so that's kind of cool, but it's not really
THAT cool because I know that NOTHING (absolutely nothing)
will ever come of it cuz I am not about to say anything
about it. I think i just sort of enjoy having something to
get all nervous and giggley about every once in a while.
Really the thought of another breakup is just more than I
care to deal with right now. It's pretty pathetic that even
though i kinda LIKE the guy, I dont wanna go out with him
cuz I don't wanna get dumped by him. Lots of confidence
over here, cant you tell?? Not a lot of confidence in guys
in general. I mean, my brothers friends are prety cool
(most of them) but pretty much every other guy I meet is
just an asshole when it comes to girls.
I dont need to learn the hard way AGAIN that most guys are
like that at this age. I guess when they're 18/19 years old
they just like to mess around and get a bit of everything
and are basically unconcerned with the feelings of other
people. But it really sucks to be on the receiving end of
things. However, it looks like that the other side is quite
nice. Fuck around with everyone you want to so that your
life is as good as it possibly can be. It must be wonderful
living without a heart or conscience.