ThE_DuDe (Basstorius)

ThE_DuDe Files
2001-11-07 05:03:57 (UTC)

why must this happen to meeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

and again i must say, why is this happening to meeeeeee. i
hate it when you like someone and you put 4,000,000,000%
into that person just to be screwed over and nothing. "just
another brick in the wall" if you will,. she cares nothing
for me anymore. just talks to me if she need somthing. and
do i do that somting .......i wish i knew what i should do
about that. cause i still do stuff for her. i bought her
the grease soundtrack. she loves grease. but she hates me.
and i love her. yea i said it. you people get the first
look at me loving her. i love her. i dont know how to
explain it but i just know that we should be together. but
we cant be and it hurt me deeply inside. the other day i
was on the city bus and i saw this girl. she was the most
amaizing girl. i had never seen anyone like that aside from
the one i love but she was quite close. to the untamed eye
she wasnt the greatest. but to me and my loving heart and
my kinda knowing about girls she as perfect. i got out my
note book and started writing . i wrote and wrote. i wrote
all about this girl. i explained in great detail everything
about her that i could see. stuff that other people couldnt
see. but i saw it. i saw it only because i really wanted to
see it. i was in the pits of dispare about the one i love
and i just wonted to take my mind off of the rejection. and
i did. i told this girl that turned me down(chelsea2001)
awile ago when i first met her that i have never gone out
with a girl that i have asked out. and she asked why. and i
told her about my rejections. i asked out three girls in my
life and they all turned me down. we got to know eachother
and we became so close but when i wanted to take it alittle
farther they said no. but the girls that i have gone out
with me i have loved the most. i always find my love when
im not looking for it. maybe i should stopp wanting love
and just take it the way it comes. i dont know . i wish we
humans didnt have these emotions that are enough to kill
uorselves and stuff. i just want to live in peace but i
cant cause i know the problems about that. i know that when
i am expecting somthing as much as chelsea loving me as
much as i love her i kinda know i wont get it back. and it
has been proven time and time again. and not just by love
but by alota other things. like when my dad said" travis im
going to teach you how to drive and you will start now" he
got out of the car and i drove alittle. and then that was
it. it got alittle dark and he said lets go home. and got
out of the car. well yea. that was the only time i ever
drove on a public street. other times on my friends ranch.
but that was about it. so yea. well ill talk later. i say
that alot. i just dont know how to end another peice of my
mind-ness that people will read and think "god this kid is
insane" but i dont know . i would like to hear from anyone
about my writings. i like to know what other people think.
good or bad. or bad or good. it doesnt matter. well yea.
bye bye bye bye bye bye . bye bye bye now. bye bye bye