Valkyrie of Velois

The Days of Deaths
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2001-11-07 03:36:09 (UTC)

aimless wanderings

Today before I went to taekwon do I was pondering many
things. You might now say yawn or blah blah. But I was
thinking and it made no since. So here I am, being bored,
thinking about what I was thinking while I was walking up
and down dimmly lite streets. I decide hey, why not write
it since you are so bored? And then I said to my self, what
a danndy of an idea.
I was pondering how stupid we humans are in the beginning
I belive. How stupid we are. We claim to be group loving
animals but yet when ever we talk we say I did this or I did
that. we never stop to ask while we are talking, sincerly of
coarse, about another person that is "patiently" listening
to the person blab on about themself. Then the people
listening get tired of this me me me stuff, so they start
talking about them selves. Now is this what you would call
a civilized conversation or not? I think not. I hate all
conversations so I stay at the edge listening and observing
other people and their silly faults and their strengths. I
make people's lives in my eyes black and white, or fault and
strenght. Some might say this is a statigic way to live but
I belive not. It shows what the person is truely saying
about themself. Here is an example:

Fat Friend: I look horrible in this picture!
Lauren: Let me see!
Fat friend: No! I look so bad.
Lauren:*snatches photo* you look just fine!
Fat friend: No I don't!
Lauren:yes you do! you look good!
Me: Let me see. *takes picture* Your right Fat
Friend(I used her real name of coarse) You look
absolutely horrible!
Other people: No she doesn't!
Fat friend: No I don't!
Me: Truly you do!
Other people: No she doesn't!
Me: At least I don't lie just so she doesn't hate me.
Other People: We are not lying!

And so went the conversation. What my fat friend truly
was saying when she said "I look horrible in this picture"
is "I need some peope to raise my moral by making me think I
am not fat for one minute in my life. I hope they say I
look good and that they don't tell me the truth; I look like
the fat hunchback of notre dame."
I do have friends and I tone my true self down a million
notches so I actually don't piss them of every five seconds.
The sad thing is that "fat friend" is not mad at me, if I
where her I would be outraged, but I get mad very easily and
my moods change easily too. That day I was pissed off
so I was unable to hide my true self for very long.
That is only a brief second of what I was thinking but it
is late and I need to take a shower.