Coldblaze

It's all over

It is all over my hopes and dreams have beseachede me the
one person I love is practically engaged to be married to a
friend of mine.I've found now that love is a tragic circle
that can never be fulfilled. It has left me very few
resorts my last of course is death which I now believe has
a whole new meaning for me. It is not only an end for life
but also an end to all pain and misery. I believe that the
ones I personnaly hold dear will have pain in their hearts
for a matter of minutes then they will move on and forget
about me if I was to take my own life. I have realised that
my whole life is a tragity filled with pain and anguish. It
has yet to be informed to me as to who I am cause I still
do not know who I am or where my life is going. It has just
becomed to me that I was dropped into the body of a person
with no soul or a desire for anything. It truly leaves me
somewhat depressed even though I have a group of people I
consider to be my family I have no ties with any blood kin.
I have my legal guardian my friends and thats it. I try and
make up littlem lies about what has happened in my life
sometimes I have told a lie so much that I can't
distinguish between the lies and reality. All this does is
send me farther into depression.I have a split personality
because around one group of people I'm one person around
another I'm a completely different person sometimes I
wonder who is the real me it is kinda crazy that I don't
even know who I am. I wish there was someone I could just
be with to help me with my problems but so far there is no
one I can talk to that wouldn't have me commited into a
physco ward. well I've typed to much for tonight now I need
to make another attempted suicide write to you tomorrow if
I make it.