buttrubbinkitte

angry little girl

well today started off wonderfully as does every day.. woke
up way too early only to get into a fight with scott
(b/f) .. beautiful i know.. just how i want to start my
morning.. half the time i dont even know what i do and a
fight is usually the result of something stupid and fucked
up.. yes i know i am fucked up in the head.. i dont need to
be reminded by my family and b/f all at once.. let me go
back a couple days.. the day before my bday i went to my
families house to have a nice dinner.. cake.. presents..
fun .. no.. i spent my time being picked on by my parents
because i told them that im slowly going insane and would
like to see a thereapist.. i also have panic attacks..
anxiety disorter or some shit.. i got lovley comments from
my dad.. from my mom saying she got me free time with a
therapist.. ok.. sure its some what humorous but not really
when its happening to you.. i find nothing funny about
being on edge when im about in public.. or the way that i
feel.. no!! i dont go outside of my house.. except to visit
with my parents or to take someone somewhere or pick them
up.. so that started my day off.. finished wrapping xmas
presents.. as much as i could anyways.. and the rest of the
day has been spent sitting here at the computer..
literally.. i have been online for 3 1/2 hours.. and i know
i will get bitched at by my roommate when she gets home..
always do.. always doing something wrong.. wish i could
just fucking get out of here.. but im stuck til may when
the lease runs out.. i could use a nice fat joint at the
moment.. sadness.. my days suck..