SpineshankTool

The land of unknown
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2001-11-06 04:40:55 (UTC)

Mind Warp

Mood: all moods at once
Music: Pantera 'Uplift'

well, i know i said i wouldn't, but here i am. lately, i hit a
bad spot. so many feelings and thoughts go through
my head every day. what a mind trip life has become.
i'm dissapointed in some of my friends who failed to
notice my absence. i'm not talking about any of my 3
friends who read this. i'm talking of those who never
bothered to look in my info and see the link to here and
read what's been going through my mind. but then, i
feel happy and excited cuz Steve is all pumped to start a
band. and he wants to do the same style as me.
industrial metal!! and we listen to a lot of the same
bands. we both love Fear Factory and both think
Pantera is awsome!! and he can write some good riffs.
the best part is, they're like Static-X riffs and are really
easy to write keyboards to. it's fun inviting him over to
jam. also, i feel kinda pissed, guys just invite
themselves over, and sometimes i don't even know
them. and then they can't be trusted, brake things, get
real rough on each other. no one listens to me at all
and never leave. there are 2 peaple i can trust to
behave at my house. Steve and Matt. Matt behaves
without Chris, who never behaves. and Steve behaves
when he's not in a group. with others, he gets hyper. he
does it every day at lunch. and i also feel pissed cuz
this school keeps having things sent home and keeps
calling to say how bad i'm doing. *sigh* i just don't
know what to do. so many choices, but i can only pick
one. *sigh* the worst part is, none of them seem to
have any girlfriend possibilities. that's the last mood.
sadness. it's always the same. and it's always left
uncured. and i'm left behind. each day is a downward
spiral. P.E. is first on odd days, it's fun. then i go to
biology which is also fun, but towards the end of class,
Andrew and Chris (a different one) are always
harrasing Alison(a friend i never mentioned. she's
cool). they harras her too much. i know she doesn't like
it, but they seem sort of cool the rest of the time. i think
Andrew is going too far. he uses her to get work done,
then harrasses her and they keep going through her
stuff and they do stupid things that can be counted as
sexual harrasment if she wanted to. but yea, i feel
isolated by then, then art is a big drop, i've no one to talk
to. i sit near preps. and they're annoying too. then lunch
has a little up, but by geometry, i'm ready to die. i'm
alone in there too. the next day is a little better but not by
much. so, yea. and i go through this every day. but then,
i feel a little hope. i don't know. it's just been so
confusing lately.


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