Northern Belle

This Belle's Life
2001-11-06 04:38:46 (UTC)

Sometimes wanting to love and trust hurts more than actually doing it.

We have all had bad days but lately I feel as if the world
is always crashing down on me. Maybe it is a side
effect of Sept. 11, which I hope it is then I can be
normal. I hope that it is not really depression. That
would suck.
Anyway, I feel as if my friend’s dot really care for and
about me anymore. Which I hope is not true then
maybe its me. Maybe I need a lot of attention cuz I can
deal with that. i am not sure what is wrong with me
maybe its i cant tell people when i am hurt and what i
am hurt about, maybe i am scared about how people
will react to what i say and do and who i feel.
all i really know is that i am really hurt about many
things that i wish i could change but i cant
i am hurt that i am not skinny and that i dont have a
respectable body i am hurt that i dont have one thing
about me that makes me say wow she is soo ..... but i
dont i wish i did. maybe i am just inseurce. it might be
from my friends family or even the media and that sort
of everinment.
i am hurt my trust being broken i am scared that my
friends want to leave me. I AM SCARED AND
INSEURCE and i need help from some one.
this all could be in my head but i dont know for sure.
i am might just be a loser but at least you or someone
knows how i am feeling and why i act the why i do
and i hope that someday really i could feel better about
myself and my life. i wish i was not soo hard on my self
like this
i wish this is ALL from the Sept. 11th attack but i cant
say that it is
but i do know one thing for sure is that once you see
plz dont hurt me even more and make my hurt public.