Dreamland's Nightmares
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2001-11-06 00:41:50 (UTC)

Always and Forever Mine

This is a piece that I wrote for a submission to
scholastic. I don't know where it came from, it just
appeared. Tell me what you think if you read it...

~Always and Forever Mine~

She comes to me like the fog in the night. I know not why,
but she comes. As I lie in my bed, suspended between
dreamland and reality, she comes. I feel the soft touch of
her fingers caressing my cheek. I hear her silken whisper
crooning me to wake, awaken not in my world, but in hers.
So I struggle to open my sleep encrusted eyes against the
barriers of the dimensions between us. Every second I am
getting closer until finally I break through. My eyes snap
open and I am greeted by a candlelit room. I blink, once,
twice, to gather my bearings. I remember so many times I
have awaken to this sight and not known where I was.

Now I know…I am in her world, the world she created for us.
My hands glide across the satiny sheets of her bed as I sit
up. My eyes scan the room looking for any sign of change
since I’ve been here last. I know of course there are none,
no difference exists here, this room always remains exactly
how I left it. I take a deep breath of the passion
fragranced air. The light scent of sandalwood incense wafts
from the burners and vanilla from the many candles, but
there is a heavier, muskier smell of our very souls here.

I turn to my right and watch her sleeping beside
me. She is always on my right. Her golden hair is spread
out over the scarlet pillows as she clutches my picture
close to her heart. Her chest rises slowly in deep, relaxed
breaths. I smile softly as I stroke her hair and bend down
to whisper in her ear.

“Wake up,” I tell her. “I am here. You’ve brought
me safe and well.” Her eyes flutter and I know that she has
heard me. I can almost see her soul scrambling for the way
back into her body from the Place Between. Finally, deep,
deep aquamarine eyes open. Bright red lips form a smile as
a pink tongue slips out from between them.

“Long time no see,” she whispers, smirking at me.
The candle flickers and reflects in her eyes. Almost
immediately my heart leaps into double time as I hear her
voice, as I draw my breath in short sharp gasps. It’s been
so long since I’ve heard her voice. The she-demon’s smile
grows wider.

“Yet…not long enough,” I finally manage to mutter.
She reaches a pale delicate hand towards me and as she
moves closer I can’t help but flinch. Her seductive smile
falters for maybe an instant and her stare becomes cloudy
as the wheels turn in her head, yet she pushes the thoughts
aside. Her hand, now touching my face, is cold to the
touch, not warm with the vitality I once knew. I smile
faintly and cover her hand, her long slender fingers, with
my own warm ones.

“I don’t think…” I start.

She cuts off my thought, “Shh…shh,” and covers my
lips with her own. The iciness of them causes a jolt within
my body as I sit there perplexed before I even bother
kissing her back. It’s everything and nothing like it was
before. And during this time she holds me tight, as if she
fears she might never see me again. Oh, how right she is. I
sit silent and still, piecing together the bits of
information in my mind. I try to speak again, yet she stops
the words from flowing out of my mouth with a slender
scarlet tipped finger.

“Don’t,” she whispers, almost to the point of
tears. “Don’t…not yet.” I push all thoughts of what I was
going to say before out of my mind, just for the sake of
pleasing her. I hear the rain starting to dance on the room
as it always does when we meet. She knows how I love the
rain. She is laying with her head on my chest as I run my
fingers through her long soft hair. I hold a handful of it
close and breathe in its intoxicating scent, knowing that
this will be the last time that I ever experience it.

“No!” I think. “Put that out of your mind. You
could be wrong. It wasn’t for sure” But I know, oh, I know.
The blade and the blood were too real to be imagined.
Before I can debate myself on this topic any longer I feel
her kiss my shoulder. I feel her heart on my soul. But
there is no physical heat, no warmth of her breath. Her
touch is like ice: cold, brittle, and harsh like d…

“NO! I mustn’t think it!” No matter how hard I try
to conceal my thoughts, she knows. It’s always been this
way. She has always known me and she could always read my
soul. So, seeing me troubled, she sings to me. Her
melodious voice fills the tiny atmosphere, and when she
touches my skin I can feel the magic of a supernatural
orchestra flowing through my very essence. I want to cry
out in pain and pleasure all at once, but the ecstasy of
the moment renders me speechless. The words of the song
flow through my veins as the pure magic of the moment
sweeps me away.

“For each day we live we also die,” she
croons. “Not knowing ourselves or truly seeing the sky…”
Has it always been like this? Yes, it is always like this
when she sings to me, when she uses her gift to cure my
restlessness. But this time not even her song can cure what
is on my mind, it actually brings it even more into focus.
Finally she removes her hand from mine and I am able to
speak once again.

“A…” I falter, I can’t seem to find the right words
I need to say to her. I can’t even seem to get out her
name. She looks at me with such innocence, yet such wisdom
that I can’t help but to cry. In a matter of minutes I am
sobbing in her arms like a child who sobs to their mother
when they have fallen and scraped their knee. I cannot bear
to do what I know I must.

“Don’t cry my raven haired beauty,” she softly
smiles. “We both knew this day would come…”

“How can you say such a thing?” I cry out, the
anger and sorrow finally building up to this moment. “This
was never planned! Never! How could we have known? How
could we have prepared? I cut the life’s threads myself!
Myself! The blood was real. The blade was real! How do you
not remember? This was not the plan. You weren’t supposed
to leave me! How can you stay so…so strong?” She flinches at my
words, never have I spoken so harshly to her. Her bottom lip starts
to quiver and immediately I regret what I have said.

I start to apologize. “Baby…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I
just…” She’s shimmering! Oh god, she’s shimmering! Her form
is shimmering in the night and I can see her starting to
fade away! I was right all along, oh the agony of knowing
what is to lie ahead!

I scream out to her, “No! Come back! I didn’t mean it, I
didn’t mean a solitary word of it!” but it is too late,
she’s almost gone. Her eyes meet mine in a sorrowful stare
and her lips slowly part to emit a breathless whisper.
“You are the sun…the moon…the stars…but …but you are…” her
voice is cut off as she disappears forever into the
darkness. She is gone.

“…always and forever mine,” I finish for her, alone,
sobbing “but you are always and forever mine…” I am now all
alone in “our world,” without her, for she is dead. She had
been holding on to me for too long, even in death, and I
had met her here every night since her murder. I suppose
this world would have gone on forever if I had just carried
on; but I could not, would not, bind myself to an illusion
any longer. Not even an illusion of my love.

Now this world is shaking and the gentle rain she sent for
me has turned into a raging storm. I know that it’s her
tears. It’s now time for me to return home. I close my
eyes, letting go of all holds here as the earth shakes and
the candles begin to fall. Fire catches the drapes
surrounding the bed as the room becomes engulfed in flames.
Still, the storm rages on outside. I let my soul go as I
travel to the Place Between. I take the route back to my
reality and after awhile open my eyes to my bed, my room,
my world. I discover the worn picture of me that she used
to carry clutched between my hands and I start to weep once
again. The light snaps on beside me as the figure in my bed
sits up.

“Honey, what’s the matter?” my husband asks alarmed as he
reaches out to comfort me.

“She came back,” I tell him, laying my head on his chest
like she used to do to me so many times. “She came back for
one final goodbye and I’ll never see her again.” He looks
at me strangely as I reach over him and turn out the light,
lying back down on the bed next to him.

The illusion is over and my love is gone, but deep in my
heart, inside my torn and tattered heart, I know that it is for the
best. For no matter the distance, no matter the dimensions, no
matter the worlds between us, she is here. She is the sun,
the moon, the stars…and she will be always and forever mine…