Faerie Onyx

Tis The Faerie
2001-11-06 00:37:28 (UTC)

Day 2...

Today is the second day of not hearing from my boyfriend.
I don't know how sick he is, but he would have to be pretty
sick not to call, or have his mother call just to let me
know that he's okay. I hope he is... I think that I'm
falling out of love with him, and I also think that we're
falling apart... I don't know what to do. Everything's
just getting so muddled in my brain. My thoughts are mixed
with my emotions, and I just don't know what to do
anymore. I try to pretend like everything's okay, but
people who are close to me know that there's something
going on. I don't know what to tell them, and things just
keep getting worse. Maybe if he really cared he'd get
someone to call me, I don't want to call him and find out
that we're breaking up or anything, because he's my whole
world. I am seriously so confused, but I think that if
things are going to get better I need to call him and find
out what's up. Maybe he's just really, really sick and
can't talk at all? Maybe he lost his voice... Or maybe
I'm just stabbing blindly in the dark... I guess things
aren't that bad if I think about them, but the depression
is making it seem about a million times worse than it
really is... I'm afraid that I'm going to have to try and
get some razorblades soon if things don't get better. I
don't want to spend more time in the hospital. The food is
almost as bad as it was at my junior high school. And
that's pretty bad food...

~Faerie




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