Justina

11/5/01

I am sick. I have the flu or some variation and I am at
home, puking my guts up and watching TV. I started this
today simply to combat my extreme boredom, but you know, it
may turn out to be a worthy expenditure of my time.

My name is Justina. I am a 17 year old senior at Decatur
High School in Decatur, Alabama. I hate my school. Not my
school... but the people there. I actually love Decatur
High. I am Student Council President, yet I dislike many of
the students there. Decatur High's students have a large
socio-economic range: from kids on welfare and living in
the projects to kids whose parents are doctors, lawyers,
and the like. There are very few in the middle. I am one of
the few.

I do not fit in the with the rich kids. First of all, I do
not live on the "right" side of town. The whole "The Great
Gatsby" syndrome with the East Egg and West Egg. I live in
West Egg. I am new money, and I will never be the same. I
also am quite blunt. Many people do not like it, a few love
it. I do not play the game, I dont say what they want to
hear.

I fit in better with the rest of the kids. I used to play
basketball for Decatur High. I fit in with the athletes. I
tutored them in English and gave them rides home from
school. I go to "their" parties. They taught me how to
shake my ass and pop it. They are real. They like me. I
like them.

I am also depressive. I take 100 mg of Zoloft daily (as my
mother calls it, my happy pill). I used to think that it
was nothing more than a sugar pill and I was wasting my
parent's money on it. I have been on the pill (ahhh it
sounds like I'm talking about birth controls now!) for a
little over a year. I tried to wean myself off of it and
had a tremendous fall. Now I just take my pill every
morning. I hate this idea... of being dependant. I keep
thinking that if I was just stronger, I could get off
Zoloft. But you know, its like when you break your leg, you
cant heal yourself. You have to go to the doctor. When you
are mentally sick, you can't heal yourself. Go to the
doctor.

I have a great boyfriend. His name is Brad. We have been
dating for almost a year and a half now. He's been there
for me through hell and back and I thank him for it. Brad
is a character. He goes to the high school across town. I
see him almost everyday, if I dont see him we talk on the
phone. Brad is so funny sometimes. He has shaggy hair and
reminds me of John Lennon. He is very into music... Pink
Floyd and Oasis are two of his favorite bands. Brad works
at Whitt's Barbeque... how southern. They have the best
sweet tea. Brad is my best friend and I need him
desperately.

I also have a job. I work at Spencer Gifts in Decatur's
Colonial Mall. I love my job. I have had many other jobs
(which I will probably get into at another time), but this
one is definitely the best. My only complaint is my
assistant manager, Amy. I think she hates me. I have been
working there since June and I have the highest seniority
now. That just shows the turn over rate at a place like
that. I think she is threatened by the fact that I have
more experience than her, yet she is my superior. So she
always lets me know that she is my boss. I will probably
bitch about her later.

Well I really dont have much more to say. I doubt that
anyone will read this, but to me, its a relief to get some
of this stuff down and out of my mind. Ahh what a relief.
Now I am going back to the couch to watch the Discovery
Channel. Oh what an exciting life I lead.

Justina