Zippy

Sleeping with the lights on
2001-11-05 18:34:06 (UTC)

Cry baby cry, make your mother sad..

I've been thinking ALOT about Jason today. I do love him,
but it's like..I know things are eventually going to fall
apart. Jason's a senior and I'm only a sophmore..so he's
going to college in the fall. So, what if things work out
until then, and then he moves to Wisconsin. (that's where he
wants to go to school) That's far away! I'm not saying that
things couldn't work out, but..what if they don't and I know
he's down there..with somebody else. Or even worse, he just
says things won't work out because he's going to be so far
away.
We were at his house last night, doing the usual. Playing
Nintendo 64's Road Rage (or something) and I was just so
happy. I don't really know what it is about him that I like
so much, but I do. I am always thinking that maybe things
between us are just..like..there, and I don't know what that
means but it's really bugging me. I miss him so much right
now and I spent the whole weekend with him. What's up with
that? We haven't even been together for a month yet, and
it's already like we've been together for like, ever. I
dunno. Maybe it's because we like the same stuff. I finally
found a guy who'll listen to Happy Hardcore with me, and he
doesn't like mainstream rap! WOO-HOO! Also, we can just sit
there and get stoned together and it's great. (But remember,
I don't smoke pot anymore ;) )
I am totally clueless about what to do. I know that the
fall is a long time away, and maybe we won't be together by
then, but what if we are?? :( It's like every single one of
my last relationships..I will fall hardcore in love with
this guy, and I'll end up in heartache again.