princess

boy oh boy

well where do i begin. this weekend i got all the paper work
to get the restrainng order put on chas. he has been scaring
me a lot lately. he went to the football game and in front of
everyone threatned to kick my ass. now it wouldnt have been
a huge thing except for the fact that through out our year
and a half relationship he was very violent towards me. he
used to hit me call me btch and other names. one time he
slammed my head in the locker and didnt say sorry because he
said it was my fault. he scares me and wont leave me alone.
halloween he egged my car and after school he follows me home. i
just want to live me life with out fearing of going to the
movies because he might do smething to me there or going to my
friends house because he might follow me there. it is hard
though becasue i shard so much with him. a couple months
ago i thought i was pregnant. he has always been there.
even though there was name calling and a hit every now and
then i still loved him and he loved me. i guess the hardest
part is when we broke up. the reason why was because he had
sex with te girl i hated so much. then a week later when i
stayed the night her shit was in the bed(cuz she as a virgin) and he
fucked me! i asked him what this blood stain was and he said it was
nothing. i put my full trust in him so i didnt quesion.
stupid me! why do i still care about him. after all he did to
me i stil want to be with him. i love him with all of my
heart and it kills me to think that after the court hearing
there will be no chance of us ever getting back together. i
mean i am only 16 years old. a junior in high school but i
know what love is. few people my age do. but i can say 100%
sure that i do! well this week we see the judge.i am so
scard! i only can have one other person with me and they
cant say a word they are just there for support. he will
be there and most likely his lawyer. wow i cant blieve this
is happening! but have to go do hw. bye