Cocooned in Misery
2001-11-05 04:03:51 (UTC)

System log

To day mother took my brother and I to the mall...I could
not go in with them. She placed me in a game room on the
other side of the street. My mother sad I just did not need
to go in.. And thats all she told me.. Yet I did as I was
told and stayed there.I met up with a friend of mine and as
soon as I saw them mother came in and said we need to go..
so all I did is say hi. My brother said that I need to stop
dressing like I do cuz it upsets mothers friends. But I am
her sun. That should mean somthing. I saw the love of my
life last night. She looked beautiful as always. We played
pool she and I vs. my brother and her brother.We won as
well. I was so happy to see her! After my brother and I
left when we drove out of the drive way.He just looked at
me for a sec and then looked the other way..I dont know
what it ment. When I got home my mother was looking in my
brothers room. She found boxes of cigarettes and beer. And
she looked at me in a odd way. I thought nothing of it and
walked back to my room. I dont know if she looked in mine
tho.. If she did she would lose it.. lets just put it that
way. My gun and knifes are still here so I dont think she
did. She took my brother and asked him am I doing ok.. I
did not hear this. He told me after wards. She said she
does not know what to do with me anymore.. Im the one that
does not know what to do anymore! She thinks everything is
so smiple. I just dont understand. He told her that im
doing just fine. Nexed week my other brother comes. He and
I dont realy talk much. He hates the way I am. If your not
like him, he will hate you. Im a little tired.. im running
off not much sleep. My brother said that I am just not
normal. That my friend slayer is too short and crazy to put
up with him. He said Midnight is too focused on other
things than what she needs to be. I dont know what that
means at all. He found my web site.. It was in my fav.
places. he just shook his head. I did not let him read it
tho. Thank god. It would have been the end of me. I did not
get to see midnight today.. I wish so much that I did. But
my mother had other things to do.. I hope I get to see her
tomorrow at school. She is so amazing everyday she seems to
amaze me. I thought I have felt love like this before ..
but not as strong and not at all back tward me. I love her
so much. My eyes are shuting so im gonna go take a walk to
wake me up.Good night everyone.