driftwood

sunday-blah

WELL THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE DONE SUCH A THING. THE
ONLY REASON I VENTURED INTO THIS IS BECAUSE IT WAS A OPTION
AS AN ASSIGNMENTS GIVEN TO ME BY MY ENGLISH PROFESSOR.
FIRST OFF IF ANYBODY DOES READ MY JOURNAL DO NOT 'FREAK
OUT' TO THE FACT THAT I WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPS. THATS
THE WAY I WRITE ON THE COMPUTER AND THATS WHAT I LIKE. MANY
OF MY FRIENDS, FIND IT IRRITATING AS THEY THINK IT SOUNDS
LIKE I AM SHOUTING AT THEM. PLEASE GET OVER IT PEOPLE.
SO ITS SUNDAY AND THE DAY WENT TOO FAST. I WOKE UP THIS
MORNING EARLY AS ALWAYS AS I SUFFER FROM INSOMNIA FOR 4AM
ON. I HAD AN OKAY RUN, NOT VERY FOCUSED AND REALLY DID NOT
PUSH MYSELF HARD ENOUGH, THERES ALWAYS TOMMORRW. I WAS TOO
BUSY STARING AT THE HOUSES. WHICH ARE BEAUTIFUL, HUGE AND
OLD, MADE WITH 'REAL' WOOD AND STONE. TOO BAD I ALWAYS END
UP LIVING IN THE 'EYESORE' ON THE BLOCK. ANYHOW I SPENT
MOST OF THE DAY READING FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS. THE DAY
DRAGGED ON AND I KEPT READING, IT SEEMED WASTED. BUT I
REALIZE IT HAS TO BE DONE.
SAME OLD FEELING INSIDE OF ME...I FEEL SICK -I AM SICK- I
FEEL LIKE THROWING UP EVERYTHING INSIDE, I NEED TO FAST!
THAT FEELING OF TOXINS FLOODING ALL AROUND YOUR INNERS.I
WISH THERE WAS A INTERNAL SHOWER SO THAT WE CAN CLEANSE
OURSELFS EVERYDAY. NO I AM NOT A COMPULSIVE FREAK-I JUST
HAVE THAT AWFUL FEELING.
JUST TALKED TO AN OLD FRIEND, SO NICE TO HEAR FROM HIM. HE
REALLY CHEERS ME UP--REALLY ONE OF THE BEST GUYS AROUND. IT
DOES NOT MATTER HOW FAR AWAY WE HAVE BEEN FROM EACH OTHER
WE ARE ALWAYS CLOSE. SOMEHOW WE MEET UP IN THE WERIDEST
PLACES AROUND THE WORLD. I GUESS WE WERE MEANT TO BE
FRIENDS.
MY PARTNER WHEN OVER TO HIS PARENTS TONIGHT FOR DINNER, I
WAS INVITED BUT FELT TOO DRAINED AND HAD WORK TO FINISH. HE
IS TRUELY A GEM, GOD DID I USE THAT WORD, ANYWAYS HE REALLY
IS THE BEST. SO UNDERSTANDING OF MY MOODINESS--WHICH I HAVE
FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED.
ANOTHER WEEK STARTS TOMMORROW-OH I FEEL LIKE VOMITING. MY
SKIN IS ITCH-- AHHHH I FEEL LIKE PURE SHIT. I WISH I COULD
EXPLAIN WHERE THIS FEELING COMES FROM BUT IF I COULD I
WOULD SOLVE IT. MY MOM IS DUE TO COME HERE SOON, WELL
ACTUAL NOT HERE TO WHERE I LIVE BUT IN CANADA. CAN'T WAIT.
FINALLY I CAN TALK TO HER WITHOUT THE EXPENSIVE PHONE BILL.
I HOPE SHE IS HAPPY WITH HER LIFE,SHE DESERVES IT AFTER THE
HELLISH TIME SHE SPENT WITH MY FATHER. I DO MISS THEM ALL,
WELL EXCEPT FOR MY FATHER. TOO BAD LIFE MAKES YOU DRIFT
FROM YOUR FAMILY.
GOT A CARD FROM MY BEST FRIEND- MY TRUE SOULMATE. THE GIRL
THAT MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO CONTINUE LIVING IN MY
DEEPEST DEPRESSION. SHE'S GETTING MARRIED NEXT AUGUST-I
WISH I COULD MAKE IT TO EUROPE FOR HER WEDDING. WELL
TOMMORROW IS THE DAY I FIND OUT IF I CAN AFFORD RENT NEXT
MONTH-I GUESS I WILL BE PRAYING ALL NIGHT. DAMN THIS CITY
AND THIS SCHOOL. WELL TONGIHT I REALLY DO NOT FEEL LIKE
WRITING, MY MIND IS JUST DRIFTING.