enchanted

Homecoming Weekend

Well, I thought my senior Homecoming would be a lot more
fun than it was. I went with my boyfriend Matt, even though
we've been having lots of troubles, since I hooked up with
Justin (and who I'm still totally attracted to) and Justin
didn't go, which was good. I didn't want him and Matt
getting into a huge fight on the dance floor. I danced with
Bill, which was cool, and Maciej was being extremely
flirty, but I don't mind it. It bothers Matt, though, and
that kinda pisses me off bc I'm used to guys paying
attention to me, and I don't like it when he tells them to
back off. We all slept over Rich's, and Justin ended up
coming, which pissed off Matt but I was glad to see him,
even if we did avoid each other bc Justin can be an ass at
times. Bill got extremely drunk and was hanging all over
me, and I can totally handle myself, but Matt acted like my
protector, which also pissed me off. Like I said, I can
handle myself! Bill was just drunk, he's harmless, and it's
not like Justin or Jef wouldn't have stopped him if he'd
tried anything. maciej was drunk too (he had like 5 vodka
shots and 5 beers) and he started dancing with me in Rich's
kitchen. Matt doesn't know, he'd freak if he did. He needs
to lighten up and let me be, and everything will be ok. I
especially didn't like him nagging me about not drinking- I
didn't drink, but I don't see anything wrong with a beer or
two.
Justin is driving me nuts! I know he says staying apart is
good for us, bc then Matt and I can work things out and
Matt won't try to kick Justin's ass, but it's not what I
want. Justin doesn't even acknowledge me in the hallways,
and considering we went into the back of his car, you'd
think he'd give me a bit more respect. Emily says Justin
feels horrible and definitely wants to be friends, that he
really does care about me, but I don't see it to be honest.
I talk to him and he's like, you shouldn't have called/i
shouldn't have called back ect ect and that makes me feel
like I'm some creepy stalker person!! She says to talk to
him again, but if Justin doesn't want to make the effort,
then why bother. I'm rather angry at Amy, since she
announced to her whole calc class about me and Justin, so
I've got to ignore her tomorrow until I figure out what I'm
gonna say. Anyways, I am attracted to Justin, I'll admit
it. I don't want to date him, but I sure don't mind hooking
up with him whenever I feel like it. And I know he's
thinking of going after Kate, which makes me way way
jealous, but I shouldn't be. I know she's not really
interested, although people say she is. I guess I should
talk to Justin, but I really can't (!!) cuz I don't want to
seem like a crazy stalker! Matt and I can't be together if
Justin and I are friends, and that's so stupid and
ridiculous, and I'm sure as hell not giving up either of
them, Matt cuz we do have somethin special, and Justin cuz
I've known him since 5th grade. Ugh! He was all cute at the
party last nite too. Anyways, I guess I'll just see how
school works out tomorrow, maybe Justin will say something
to me and Matt will actually be ok with it- oh crap, the
pysch test! I hate school, only a few more months till I'm
outta here!