Dani Clare

Her World...The Diary of Dani Clare
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2001-11-04 23:39:44 (UTC)

The Doll

'A dress of pale velvet green, flows behind her like a sea,
And on her head she wears a crown of tiny scarlet roses.
Soft and pale china hands and hair more golden than the
sands
With eyes of sapphire blue she stands and beautifully
poses.'

The beginning of my poem 'The Doll', about a doll that is
neglected, left on a shelf for years while all of the other
dolls are taken out and played with. It hurts the doll so
much that she decides to 'fall' from the shelf on which she
stands and shatter into pieces.
It is Sunday, the one day of the week where I usually sit
around and do nothing. I'm usually sat on my comfy computer
chair. That is all I mainly do on a Sunday. I woke up quite
early this morning, went downstairs to eat my breakfast,
and after doing so went back up to my bedroom. Basically
that is all I have been doing all day. I filled in a survey
for a while and talked to Chris again on IRC. We sort of
had another little argument as I wasn't sure about going
out on Friday, and he said nasty things such as how I don't
care about Paula by not going to her birthday. Sometimes
though I just feel out of place, as he has his own friends
and they are all kind of together. It's particularly hard
to explain, but no matter how much everyone likes me, it
still seems as though I am the odd one out. Just like the
doll I suppose, as everyone around her seems to be happy
but she is alone on a shelf. I guess every person feels
like that at times :) We're perfect really. Everything is
sorted now and I love him to death as per usual.
It is pitch dark again, and all I have been able to hear
all evening are the popping and crackling of fireworks form
a nearby house, and through the spaces in my bedroom blind
I could see a few from where I have been sitting. They're
really pretty and nice to watch, even though bonfire night
is not until tomorrow!
That is basically all that I have done today. When Chris
went to have tea I had a deep, hot bath in the new bathroom
suite, and after that, began to look for some important
things that I thought I had lost. It made me realise how
much stuff I actually have in this room. Because it is
particularly small, it always looks cluttered and needs
some serious sorting-out. However, I found one of the
things that I was looking for, but not the brown envelope
with last year's winning Newport Christmas card inside.
Though I did find, underneath my old television trolley,
the Argus newspaper that I was in last year, some cards, a
couple of books, a mountain of paper, and various other
things that had dropped behind the trolley. One day I'll
sort it all :)
Now I am just sat here, with drying hair, talking to Chris.
I really love him more than anything. It really is dark
outside, although it is midnight in half an hour! I've been
writing this for a while now, doing numerous things in
between, such as feeling angry, hurt and odd, and bathing.

'Though no-one comes to greet her and she feels afraid once
more.
A doll of so much beauty they have chosen to ignore?'

So I shall leave it at that now. And I hope to write again
tomorrow. If I haven't jumped off my shelf that is.

Love & Beauty,
Dani Clare


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