Blurbs of the Moderately Insane
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2001-11-04 18:51:13 (UTC)

Sunday Morning Sentiments

I woke up feeling a bit renewed this morning. I haven't
felt this way in a while. Most mornings I would drag myself
from bed, and go through the motions of daily life barely
noticing anything or anyone. This morning felt different.
I didn't leap from bed or sing show tunes in the shower,
rather I felt peaceful and rested. My mind was calm.

Sometimes I like to blame my childhood for the 'who I am'
presently. It's so much easier to blame it all on my
childhood rather than say "I am responsible for me, I am
the only one who can change me." I have my moments though.
Moments where I am blisteringly aware that I am the key to
my own destiny and that I alone am my own keeper. There is
no other who can take the glory from my success nor instill
the sadness of my defeats, no one other than I can do that.

There are times when I feel in synch and wise. Times that I
know I am right and that I have told the truth as the world
should know it. With a gentle hand and loving heart I try to help
those around me find themselves, accept themselves and love
themselves. Much like myself, upon hearing the truth
seeing eyes go blind and hearing ears fall deaf. It is a
slow road to the acceptance that each must find their own
way and learn to see and hear their own personal truth, yet
it does not stop me from trying. .

The world seems set on being a ever-linking chain of
contradiction and an ever-changing landscape of perception.
I try to hold fast to my own perceptions of truth, yet I
find they are ever-changing and evolving. My beliefs are
never changed like black to white, but they morph into the
shades of grey that lay between the two. There is no firm
black or white, merely the fuzzing of grey and a slight
change in the intensity or softness of it all.I find that
as days pass I am never the same me twice, I am always new
and there is always something different about me. I have
learned that there is no constant in this universe except
change itself.

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