Dirty Fractyl
2001-11-04 17:48:00 (UTC)

I never am good at it

Letting go. I want her to remain not sexually active until
we get a chance to be together, but if she is sexually
active, I would have to be, too. That's not what I want.
I want to lose my virginity to her and I wanted her to wait
for me just incase because I feel I should be special
enough to be worth waiting for. It would tear me up if she
didn't want to wait for me. I love her with all my heart
and soul and I wanted to be the next and last person she
ever had sexual relations with, and while that is a lot of
pressure, I don't really care; it is how I feel.

We are supposed to talk tonight. I am merely hoping I can
get her to see things my way and not do this to me. I am
worried. I wanted things to be special between us, and
that can happen when you are going around messing with
people in the meantime. I just don't like the idea of that
at all.