Jashire

JashJournal
2001-11-04 17:01:31 (UTC)

Lonelyness

Today...its like any other day. I get up, I talk to my
love and I go to work. Then...well then nothing else it
seems. I...think (as usual) I am just not cut out to
have...well friends that I can really bond with. Somehow I
know that I wear out my welcome and I'm here again, at
home, wondering what to do. I have lots of stuff...games,
tv, dvd, video, raido...just lots of things...but...with
out friends it all means nothing.

I guess I did have some for a while there...they really did
make me happy. But I...I just don't know. I don't think
i'm really their friend type. Not really what they were
looking for I guess. But *shrugs* I guess that's the way
things go.

Um..I guess on a lighter note I will get my tail soon. I
think bye the end of the week. I can't wait to wear it
around the house..and...heh well I guess I can't show it
off to anyone. But it will be nice.

Work is boreing...the only thing that keeps me going really
is that I have a love out there. I miss him so much and I
can't wait to just hold him in my arms. Oh how I do long
for that moment. I just want to talk to him and eat with
him. I want to be there for him.

I was talking to another lion yesterday and I told him...if
I go over to see my ben...I don't know if I'm ever comming
back to the states. I ment it and still do...ben is that
important to me. Yea...I think my ticket will be one
way...if not then I would only come back for a short time
then go back to live with him. I love him so much.




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