My Life
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2001-11-04 15:37:08 (UTC)

another weekend

I started to write an entry in this journal on Friday
evening but it never went through and that's probably a
good thing because I was really upset and depressed. I
started thinking about my ex-boyfriend and it was one of
those times that it just got to me. I started feeling
anxious and almost like I was going to have an anxiety
attack. I didn't but it made me sad and melancholy. This
started in the afternoon at work when I was all alone. I
called "his" neice to get his address, thought if I wrote
him a letter I could get it out of my system, now that I
feel good today I don't think that is a good idea or even
worth my time. So Friday I got home after running some
errands and wanted to just relax and take care of myself,
intended to get in the bathtub, do a facial, etc. But I
opened a bottle of Merlot and one thing I think I've
realized is that is I'm feeling blue, I should stay away
from ALCOHOL. It totally goes to my head and makes me so
Then I was on the computer and chatting to 4 of my guy
friends and this one that I just started talking to, it
came up that I was feeling bad and it was the way he
approached it, I actually felt I could be open and talk to
him. How weird because I don't know him well, but he told
me that he had to stop drinking all together when he was
27, but he wasn't saying I should, I was literally in
tears, I was so upset and somehow he comforted me.
Then I was also talking to Terry and he asked what was
wrong and I told him, it was around 8:30 or so and he asked
if we could meet tonight, maybe that would cheer me up. My
first thought was, you want to drive all the way down
here?, well he did, asked if we could meet for a drink, and
I thought it was incredibly sweet of him. So he and his
roommate drove the hour down here and I met them at the
club. I hadn't met his roommate before, he was nice, but
very sarcastic. But that was OK, we had fun. And when I
walked up to the place, there was Terry waiting for me, and
the minute I saw him, and he gave me a hug and a kiss, I
felt so much better, like he was there for me. We had a
really good time. Terry was very affectionate and
attentive, we just talked and laughed. Then he wanted to
get something to eat so we went to this diner with his
roommate. They took me to my car and I headed home. Terry
gave me a more lingering smooch when we parted and for the
first time in a long time I thought, I could maybe have
something real with him. He gave me that tingly feeling
Well, i haven't heard from the farmer lately and I guess I
don't feel so bad about it either. I really hoped he would
stay interested but I'm okay if he's not. Part of it is
because of Terry. He treats me so well, totally respects me
and wants to make me happy. There are no games, he's just a
great guy and I deserve someone like that.
Last night after going to the movies with my cousin and
neice (We saw Monsters, Inc.) Two thumbs up! and then we
also went to dinner, well I came home and decided to have
my pamper night then because I never did Friday. Then Terry
calls and he just bought Shrek and he offered to come down
to my place to watch it. Well, I would love to see him, but
it was kind of late, I was tired and I told him, the
problem is that the only TV/VCR I have is in my bedroom!
Thought that would make it uncomfortable for us both. Take
is slow............! So he knew I was tired and he was fine
with that. Then tomorrow I have an Alpha class that lasts
til 8:30 by the time I get home but he wants to take me to
a late dinner. My first thought is, WOW, I'm not use to
this much attention and then it's like, WOW, I like this!
So we'll see.