DayDream Believer
2001-11-04 08:55:17 (UTC)

Dear Diary

So here Im, back at my work, this is the best part of the
day, Im just finished the cleaning part, all I can do is
sit dow and relax and wait for the rush to begin.

Yesterday I had a really bad day, it turned worse and worese
as the day passed by,at the time I was going to bed I was
hateing my self.
I hated my self for every bad thing who has ever happend to
me, I blamed my self for it all.
Lucy for me, I dont have many of those days, or else I wold
kill my self.
When I got home the first thing I did war to run over to
Samuel, the day was allready bad and a needed a big hug, we
agreed on that I should go home and changeed shoes, they
where killing me, and then we should go for a walk and just
talk like allways.
But when I got home I was so tired that I had supper and
went to bed, so I diddnt take that walk with samuel....
To bad acually, it allway helps to talk to him, he never
tells me what to, he just listen to what I say.
I dont think Im able to live without him.
I pray to Good for a miracle, that I must die befor him, in
accident or something, but that will be wrong to, I dont
want to leave him eather, and we shall NOT die together, I
wanna die in a room all by my self, I planed that since
Selina died four years ago,I would never surviverd that if
it havent been for Samuel.

BTW: Im still wondering if anyone reads my diary, if you do
plece send me a message, you can write in English or in