aris' thoughts
2001-11-04 07:02:51 (UTC)

chin up, be strong

is been a couple of days , i couldnt get into these pages.
well here i am with a whole new chapter to my life, one i
was not expecting or am prepared for but i am surviving
knowing when its over life will be filled with sweetness
once more. Mistress has been having tests and more tests to
prepare Her for surgery and just found out last Weds. that
She is more seriously ill than W/we had thought. i could
hear in Mistress voice the fustration/anger/worry, the Docs
told Her it may mean having to leave O/our lifestyle behind
and Her health is a big risk. yes i am frantic with worry.
i never have really loved someone who was ill, well except
my father in law and that was cancer, total different
story. well make this short as i can, after many talks and
talks and going over O/our options, to better benefit my
Mistress recovery and to help Her have less to worry about,
W/we have decided to take a break til this is over, a
sabbital She calls it. now, i love my Mistress to death and
i know this is right thing to do for Her sake, for Her
health . i am Hers now and will be with She is able to keep
me, She has decided to place me under protection from Sir,
He offered and Mistress and i both trust Him. i didnt
realize at first that i would now have to follow Sirs rules
and things, but like i said W/we trust Sir and this is what
my Mistress has decided for me, i am thankful She made
arrangements for me while She is busy gaining Her health
back. thankful and scared both.... i swear to myself each
day i wont cry..... i do and when i saw Mistress today, i
couldnt tell Her i just culdnt cause i know She worries
about Her girl, and i am fine really, just waiting to see
Sir to figure out what He plans on with this for me and
wanting this whole thing over as quickly as possible. i am
thinking of a good 4 to 6 months, will have to talk to
Mistress about this at a later time. i got confused on now
that i am released i actually am free to do as i please
from Mistress, but its not like that i will not act like i
am released in anyway, i dont think that is what Mistress
wishes me do , i just want to not give my Mistress anything
to worry about. i do know i have to discuss this with Her
while She is still in good enough shape to be around. the
docs are annoying me, She has been having tests for months
it seems and still no damn surgery date, least with a date
for this surgery, W/we will have some kind of an idea when
this will be over i hate doctors and they better get off
their asses cause they have no idea who they messin
with......LOL...Mistress kick their asses... i promised to
keep up on this diary for Her, and i plan on doing so.
Mistress, i love You....and i am so thankful to be Yours....