Dirty Fractyl
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2001-11-04 01:01:16 (UTC)

Post I I am worried that I may..

Post I
I am worried that I may not just be bipolar right now...I
think I may be schitzo, too. I find myself sometimes acting
and thinking when I seem to be doing nothing at all. Does
that make sense? I see lula talk to herself a lot, but this
is on a whole other strata. This is bizarre. It is like I
actually gain from sitting back and listening to an echo of
me tell me who I am. And maybe that is the cause of my
irregular heart beats, too. Who knows?

"Espero que cosas llegan a ser diferentes, pero tengo no
control sobre la situación, y no hay nada que puedo
hacer." --Tha Shot

Post II

From: St. Paul, MN
Registered: 08-31-01
Posts: 967

That's really interesting. Maybe you are having out of body
experiences? I've been having those weird kinda feelings
lately, but not to that great of an extent.

Post III, Shot
I never said the board made me schitzo! Where the hell do
you freaks draw your info from?! I was just trying to find
out if this is a schitzo thing or not because I wasn't
sure...and I know lula knows a lot about psychology, as
does Kristin, who wants to major in psychology. So,
yeah...this isn't about taking anything out on the board,
you freaks!

Post IV, Shot
It is almost like that. It is as though I am able sit back
and watch a different me operate through my surroundings,
and it feels surreal. Sometimes it is like I am playing a
supporting actor in a terrible play. The kind of play where
popcorn is the main reason to go. I am that person before
the empty crowd, slowly losing my mind.

Post V, Shot
I can't...the weed is helping. It would only be worse to
have to ridicule myself soberly. I am upset with the way I
was acting and it is as though the inner me i repressed
wants to destroy the me that thinks everything is going all
right. But it's like the are twins separated at birth. They
look similar but have no semblance of anything other than
that. They will associate with different kids, be shaped
and molded by the cause we call society. It is not safe to
leave your twelve your old children on the streets or out
of the house past 10pm. It is going to continue and the
cars will always go too fast, and the sky is grey
sometimes, comforting in a bland, mellow sort of way...
Espero que cosas llegan a ser diferentes

Post VI, Shot
I am trying to be here, as I fight with the me that drives
my blood pressure up and drives me insane. I am no where
near the level of a person I have to be after these
changes, and now, again, I am disappointed with the way I
am behaving. It's ridiculous, and it is hurting the one I
love most.

Post VII, Shot
The bitch in there, that wicked fire. I need to kill that
son of a fuck.