lil girl

my eyes
2001-11-03 17:39:52 (UTC)

lookin good....

in the process of getting dressed.... washing pants so I'll
have some to wear... all my clothes r dirty... and/or on my
bedroom floor. whatever. I think I'll play flirty-from-a-
distance tonite... not slutty, I really want to avoid that
comepletly. There are others ways to be attractive. Sexy
clothes aren't just the ones that show a lot of skin. I'm
doin my nails kuel, I've got this purpley grey on em now,
gonna use a toothpick to make streaks of another colour,
probably black. to match how I feel. lol

I feel so superficial... but its important to chill
sometimes. my friends are fighting again... (same old
story). They get immature... they get selfish. Anyway. I'm
involved. I'd ignore it, if I could, because it is
pointles... unless they learn from it. I hope but doubt
they will.

I play mediator... they come to me, yelling, crying. I nod,
give a hug. Give a very watered-down version of my
opinions, as the straight forward would hurt them, or keep
them from coming back. I just need them to know someone is
there for them, I'm not gonna judge em.

I've seriously been considering becoming a counsellor. My
previous dream was to write... and, I like writing... but I
don't know where I'd go with that. And computers... but
they just piss me off now. I want people. And I like
helping people, supporting them, giving them advice. I like
being the one they go to when they need to vent, when they
need to cry. I know how it feels to be all alone when
emotions are rushing and flooding through your mind. I
wouldn't wish that on anyone, and to be the one who keeps
people from feeling that, would be amazing.