the expunged refuse of my evil mind
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2001-11-03 06:51:12 (UTC)


i hate drugs, but then again, i dont.

Artificial emotion pills. a small capsule filled with love,
hate, lust, desire, or just a small dose of hallucination. i
dont want to do drugs, i dont want to anymore. amanda
hates them. alex hates them. matt hates them. thats
reason enough for me. drugs are not the answer to
anyhing, but they are a solution. i dont think alex knows
that i smoked weed all of freshman year, almost every
day, almost twice a day. all becasue i was sad. i was
sad over everything, alex not being there, me being
alone, despite me being with morgan, my general
lament for my parents. the distaste i had for life drove
me to do things which i found stupid. last year i started
to do e. that wastn good. e has fucked too much up with
my friends. morgan was going out with matt, but fucked
someone else on e, but it was one of matts frineds, in
his bathroom, when everyone was in his house. but the
only person to whom i have truly shared my thoughts
on alex with is matt, which was all thanks to e. that
reaaaly pissed me off. i couldnt tell anyone about that
part of my life because i diddnt think anyone would hear
it. but when we were on e, all of a sudden everyone
wants to listen. fuck that .fuck e.fuck drugs. im done, no
more. nothing ever again.
in the words of the red hot chili peppers,

if you see me getting high,
if you see me getting by,
knock me down

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