Tatsuma

My June

My June... but who exactly is my june? I know I could start
to rant about the eternal who am I or anything... but I'm
wondering... who, really, is my june? Does she exist, but
at all? Could not that be only a maze of my mind, a maze of
mirror, reflecting me my love of love? Cause my June is
always in changement...

What does she looks like?

My June as 2 faces... The blond girl representing
the "pure" side of june.... Blond, tall, with an blue ocean
pair of eyes... Each curves, each lines of her body cut
with the precision of a diamond... A silent, polite but
overwhelming, totally charming smile...

but now... and it's shocking for me... June developped
another side... a more human side... This girl I know...
well, know is a great word... Again... how can we really
know someone? I'm a stranger to myself... But her eyes...
totally engulfed me... captivate me.... touched me so
deeply... I would travel distances for those eyes... I
would leave here, quebec, the middle of nowhere (in canada!
*gasp*) to go take her and leave with her.... But again...
this is crazy... we never met... talked... saw each
others... she has a boyfriend... this is a fucking online
thing... we don't even have the same fucking language...
how would she fuckin care about me? even if she seems to
care about me more than I do myself...except thru pics...
but it's not only for those eyes... it's for her...

How does she acts?

My blond June, well, is like Julie... Totally... on some
point... Julie is my june... she's the original... and she
betrayed me too... except that she didn't died in a car
crash... and that i'm not god's messenger (well, who
knows ;) but i don't think it would be a safe bet to place
the world's fate in my hands, but again, i'm stoned and i
don't think it's usefull to talk about that)

And the other june I have... well she's just like this
other girl... in some way she's her.. and some not... it's
fucked up... i don't even fucking understand myself
anymore... anyway...

My June is an impossible goal... the perfect love... my
perfect love... idealization of what i love in this
world... in some way... to fight my fears