Tatsuma

Stoned.... again..... as usual....

Last days have been fucked up... It was like living my life
by burst. Sometimes, while talking, i was stopping to
moving, realizing that I was. It was strange. But not the
first time it happened to me. I don't know what that means.
Tonight was a fucking boring night. I went at this
girl's... and we barely talked... everybody was already
wasted... people were doing tracks and peach on the
table... i was chilling with my bongs on the sofa... kinda
thinking about how today my life only revolves around drugs
and my june... How it sucks... My 3 suicide attemps, in 2
years... all missed... does that mean i don't really want
to die? That my subconscious mind put em deliberatly in a
situation that i could *possibly* get saved? Or that i'm
just lucky to be resistant to pills, cars and rope? To
complete this cycle... there's only the cold biting of the
steel on my flesh that is missing... I'm not really in a
good mood today. But not in a bad neither... I think all I
would do is flew... I wish I had a girl with me... I girl I
could go away with... far away from everyone I know... a
little town or something... doing a little job... paying
for a little appartment... live for each others... but i
don't think I will ever find someone that will suits me...
I had her... but she betrayed me... and she was unique... I
sense it. I feel it. I KNOW it... It's kinda strange

I must add... I should think about my june's obsession in
the future... Am I going crazy?