jane_doe

a little piece of me
2001-11-02 17:49:06 (UTC)

what do i do now?

ugh...last night deffinitely rates high on my 'what the
fuck did i get myself into?' list. ok, here's how it
started. i got online last night to see if michael was
there. see, i was thinking about ending our relationship
(again), but i don't want to just send him an email...i
would rather tell him myself. that sounds weird, but i
don't want to be a coward and take the easy way out. well,
michael wasn't there, but heather's bf brett was. so, we
started talking. i was pretty upset, not just about the
michael thing, but about life in general. after talking to
brett online for a little while, he called me. i don't
know why i said it was ok. it's heather's fucking
boyfriend! i guess cause i was feeling so bad, and i just
needed to get my mind off of things. so, he called. we
talked for a long time. he had me laughing about 95% of
the time. things were going fairly well, but somewhere in
there i started to really really like him. i tried so hard
to brush those feelings off. i mean, there's heather, who
i care about and don't want to hurt, and michael, who's
still technically my boyfriend. i thought i'd be ok, and
just ignore it, until brett asked me how i felt. i was
quiet for a while. i didn't want to tell him that i liked
him because of all the others involved, but i did. from
then on, things went downhill. i totally fell for him.
this is so not good. i never thought that would happen.
and now i don't know what to do. heather, i know i've said
it a million times, but i'm sorry. i hate feelings! they
get in the way of everything. ok, so i have to get ready
for school. life sucks.

jane_doe


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