nobody

flashbacks

flashbacks
pictures in fast video
or in slow motion
feeling the same
coldness
shivers up my spine, walking in the dark outside
flash
alone, lost, afraid
flash
like a cameras' lens traveling inside my head
snapping pictures of things i dont want to rememeber
feelings frozen in time
feelings i forgot in
memories i cant forget

i almost froze to death,
i was homeless, walking to no-where
just kept walking to stay warm
starving
it was in november i think
but i forget
could be late october
no coat
or warm shoes
no socks
i was young
runaway
running from me,
but i always caught up

flash
the wind pushes at my mind
the howling shrieks in high pitched tones
flash
up my back like stabs of a knife that cuts me..
the blood as icy as my heart
flash
i wanna run so fast all my skin falls off
so the plastic smiles melt, by
the lips smothered in hot breath, eventually
leaving a dripping skull, which was once me.

me took me to safety
and after a while
learned to eat again
with loose teeth
the roof of my mouth
ached in pain
the sandwich was too hard
white bread and a piece of bolonga
the body was eating itself
it didnt need the food anymore
it had had enough to digest
i was less than 100 pounds

flash
your so fat and worthless
he said spitting the words at me
flash
how can you be so stupid?
your never going to be anything!
flash
laughter
your as tall as me when you lay down
flash
blackness
pain
heartbeats

if i stop the heart i will forget
if i drown the head i will not hear
the voices screaming
remembering ...
daddy