cyrn668

Here we go again....

It's the title to one of my favorite Operation Ivy
songs. "Conditioned to self-interest, with emotions locked
away. If that's what they call normal I'd rather be
insane."

Yea, so I haven't written here in a few days. After Tori
everything just fell apart.

I went around yesterday and got everything ready for
Holloween. Started getting upset while doing so, realizing
just how broke I realy am.

Got a call from Entergy, they're gonna turn my power off...

Was gonna go out anyway, not spend much money, but go out.
My hair refused to do what I wanted it to do. I guess I
just have too much for elmers to work anymore, to thin from
too many dye jobs, whatever.... Around 11, I finialy gave
up and said "fuck it". Read for a while and went to bed.

Get up today and pay what I could for rent and my Entergy
bill. I'm sure my landlord is quite pissed seeing as how
there's 100$ less than what I said would be there. What
else could I do?

My head's all fucked up right now. Thoughts I havn't had
in years are poping back. Things I don't need to be
thinking. "Is it all worth it type of stuff." Other
thoughts as well. The *old me* started comming back. The
person I became when Jennifer left me. That's bad. I mean
realy bad.

So, I'm going hermit again. I won't be on aim, or yahoo
for a while. I need to get my head streightened out. The
best way I've found to do this is to go off and be by
myself for awhile. Yes, I'm still gonna write in here. I
do need some outlet, some comunication with the outside
world, even if it is one way.