eidolon

shifting mists
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2001-11-02 05:51:20 (UTC)

friendship vs. romantic love ...

... sometimes it's really hard to let go of someone ... no
matter how much better you know it might be for the other
person if you did ...

...i never hear from him ... and it worries me ... it
worries me because i care about him - even if it's not in
that way that he wants me to ... i worry about him because
i miss him ... i honestly enjoy the time we spend together
and it saddens me that i hurt him so badly that it seems to
have destroyed that special 'click' we had when we spent
time together ... it's hard .. to sit here and let him
disappear from my life ... cuz i don't want him to ... i
want him to stay close ... i want to be a friend and us to
be close ... but i know that unless he wants that too it
just can't work that way ....

... and even though i want him to stay close ... i have no
idea how to ...... *sigh* ... i want to message him .. i
want to talk to him ... spend some time with him ....
but ... i don't know how to message him ... i don't know
how to tell him that i want to spend some time with him
without him getting the wrong idea or without hurting him
in the process by phrasing it all wrong ....

... i might have felt that our relationship was a mess and
that my love was not was it should have been ... but i have
always felt that we made the greatest of friends ... and i
miss that ....

... however ... i have no idea how to get it back .... or
even how to broach the subject ... *sigh* ...

... i know that i hurt him deeply both in past as well as
more recent events .... and whether or not i can have him
as a friend is going to take time .....

... either way, i hope he is healing ....


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