Soclosetotheedge

Nicole
Ad 2:
2001-11-02 03:22:27 (UTC)

I think it has begun....


11-1-2001

I believe now is the time that I can truly say that....
I've had it, I've simply had it, I can not possibly take
one more day of my piece of shit life. And no, I'm not
suicidal or anything like that, it's just that for some
reason, destiny decided that it doesn't like me and that it
will do whatever it can to push me down, allowing me a few
seconds to try and get back up and then kicking me down
again, what a bitch.

I've lived my life as honestly as I could have, doing good
in school, being a good child, all of that. Now what the
hell is this now? I don't understand why the hell this all
has to happen to me, I mean, these are the kinds of things
that I've seen happen to everyone else and never touch me.
I guess it's my turn, and boy did they decide to smash it
all together. That really pisses me off. So far in life
I've suceeded in being strong, and not depressed and
everything like most teenagers these days. It's gotten to
me though, I don't know if I should be laughing my ass off
all the time, or crying like a baby and giving up. I'm just
way too confused. And for some reason, I believe that... I
really won't ever snap out of this. I miss the days when my
biggest worry was whether I got the kind of candy I wanted
or not, now I have to worry about everything dying, my life
being screwed over and all that.... I don't think I can
take it, wait, I know I can't take it. I need help, I
really do. Not like a psychiatrist or anything, but just
emotional support from someone I love. My problem is that I
won't ask for it though, I won't even give a hint that I
need it. But I do need it, majorly. I need something, I
know that much, cause I can't do this by myself, I really
can't. I don't think I'm strong enough and I don't know if
theres anyone to help me be strong.

Down my road I shall walk, crying my tears of pain, letting
my heart sink into the shock, helped by the power of rain.

Skipping, I'll go peacefully, but please do help me pass,
if I will go willingly, maybe my soul will last.


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