Martini

Xanax's last stand & eating disorders.

I don’t want everyone to think I should have called this online
journal “The Xanax Chronicles” so this is the last time I’ll be
speaking about it.
Well, last night as soon as I got home I downed one little blue
Xanax tablet, on an empty stomach, and let me tell you it
started working right away!

Side effects & outcome: My throat felt funny, sort of numb,
then I started feeling very woozy. After that I had the feeling
of being disconnected from my body. Not long after that (1
hour) I fell asleep—I’m talking fell asleep hard, next thing I
knew it was 5am the next morning and I still felt tired! I was
even groggy till about noon today! Unacceptable.

Is Xanax a good drug to get high on? No.
Will I take any of the remaining 29 pills? No-way!
Overall experience: Not good. Hell, if I wanted a sleeping pill
I would have asked for one!
Do I trust my doctor after this incident? A big---NO. If I had
followed her directions and taken 3 (Spread out during the
day) pills yesterday, I would never have made it home, I
would have passed out at work!
Did I trust my doctor before this incident? No.

Now for something completely different………

I’ve become obsessed with reading about eating disorders.
I’ve been trying to find the “pro anorexia” web sites that
people have been complaining about, but still haven’t any
luck. Where they’re located is a mystery to me.
Hold on a minute! I don’t want anyone thinking I’m anorexic
or anything. I can fast for a day but that’s it. I don’t know how
these anorexics do it. Bulimia? Forget about it! Once when I
was 13 I tried to make myself throw up---couldn’t do it. That’s
disgusting anyway.

Do I have weird eating habits? Yes.
Could I ever develop an eating disorder? I doubt it.

Hey, I don’t think there’s one girl on earth who hasn’t had
“issues with food & weight”. At the moment I’ll confess that
I’ve become rather obsessed about losing weight. I’ve been
cutting my food intake way too much.

What sort of set me off was this:
Martini- “Oh, I don’t want to eat any of those cookies you
brought in sorry I’ve only got 11 more days until my vacation
and to lose some weight.”
Fucking bitch co-worker- “Oh…have you lost any weight?”

I was thinking, hello! Of course I’ve lost weight! But then I
thought, shit, I’m really not going to eat hardly anything so my
weight loss will really be noticeable to others. So that’s why I
fasted yesterday and am trying to eat as little as possible. I’ll
probably be back to normal after vacation.

Love from “Xanax free” Martini. J