2001-11-01 19:24:10 (UTC)

Today..sigh today

Today not much has happened. i stayed home from school
sick. im head hurts. I feel dizzy and my tummy aches. I
found out that the guy i like a lot doesnt like me. He said
he did but then i heard he said i like to hurt people
purposly. I dont know how he could say that. I hate seeing
people hurt. Its such a horrble thing. I feel bad when i
see someone hurt.Lyle errr i thought he was a realy friend.
I guess i was wrogn about him. He moved to Louisiana and
you know wat im kinda glad he did...sorta. I mean i miss
LAnce a lot. Everything seems to going wrong wihout them.
But the only good thing about today was Kyle :). He was
sick at home 2. It was great. I mean we didnt talk much but
i was gald to have his company. I wish he liked me. But hes
going out with Liz Bland. Yeah i have been jealpus of her
for a long time. Shes pretty,smart and she knows how to do
everything. She scotish dances and stuff. yea. See i cant
do that stuff. I have no talent. I ahve to find some
though. What do i do to win Kyle's attention? I mean i hate
attention but Kyle...Well hes diffrent. Hes smart and
sensitive. Hes very compassionate. And hes very talented.
He plays intruments liek guitar and drums and i dont know
if hes still learning the violin. But hes so gorgeous. I
love his eyes and his smile. Hes always so happy and
optimestic. Im so depressed and pestimestic. Yeah we have
our diffrences. Though we do have are similarities :) We
both love music and we both like to help people. We both
have a good sense of humor. And we have a lot more. I still
ahve his letter he wrote me last year when he was sick :)
jezz we both seem to talk alot when we are sick hehe. We
shoud get sick all the time....no. Pain is noth worth it.
Like Kyle said on his away message "if you were to ask a
sick man, Perhaps me, If he liked being sick, Your an
idiot" lol its a fasinating qoute :) But he doesnt like me.
And i need to deal with that. I mean yeah hes my best
friend and he always will be. but i dont think he knows
that. He is the only perosn who actually listens to me and
helps. He hasnt givin up on me. And i admire him for that.
He infuenced me to be happy and straighten up. If im goign
to go back to Ledyard high school Im going back for him.
Maybe someday i will ahve my chance with him. Someday. And
when i do i will be the luckiest person alive. I wouldnt do
anything to screw it all up. It is then i will be happy :)
well I must be going now. I have to vaccum or y mom will
yell at me.