Crazy Thoughts
2001-11-01 11:30:38 (UTC)

About Chris and Marissa breaking up

Sorry, this is really belated because I forgot about it but
Sarah e-mailed me and told me I needed to do it, thanx hun!
Well the 411 on this whole mess is that Marissa broke up
with Chris because she felt that she didn't know him that
well. I'm really lost because she said that she loved him
and she knew so much about him, but she really doesn't. I'm
glad that they broke up or Marissa would feel like shit
because it wasn't going anywhere after the third/fourth day
they were going out. And Adam (the guy Riss was involed
with before) he's friends with Riss, I guess. I talked to
him briefly last night, but he's been having sleeping
problems, etc. His heart was broken when Riss went out with
Chris, but so was Rissa's because she had to choose. I
think she should have gotten to know Chris better and hang
out with him a little more before she went out with him,
but I'm happy she's figured out what she wants. (I'm
veiwing thisfrom a diplomatic stand point because I don't
want Adam, Riss, or Chris to get all mad at me) Anyways, I
feel that Chris was a little lost by all of this too, but
then again I don't know him super well. I don't really care
so much for this issue anymore because 1) I'll get in
trouble if I continue on and 2) I'm dealing with some other
fucked up issues in my life. Those issues include-drinking,
my friend's older brother stonning his way to death, family
(not nuclear) and other subjects I wish not to discuss.
Well about the drinking-my aunt has always been an
alcoholic (it runs in the family unfortunantly) and she was
widowed a few years back. From that aunt I have one cousin
that has serious lying problems, well to make a long story
short, my aunt got thrown in jail for a couple of days and
my cousin is now living at another aunt's house, and that
aunt really doesn't want her because she's afriad that my
whore of an aunt that gets drunk all the time will bring it
into her house. My other cousin Lauren complains all the
time about the shit that goes on, and she's thinking about
moving out, her brother already did. I don't want her to go
back to OK city because that means she'll be so much more
farther away from me and I'll never talk to her anymore.
This really upsets me.
Another issue with drinking is that some of my friends are
out of control with drinking, I feel horrible because there
seems there is nothing I can do, and I really don't like
the fact they're driving drunk! errr! I could just shoot
myself, I swear.
Moving on, about my friend's bro, we'll call him Radar and
my friend Mrs. Bread (long long stories behing those names)
Anyways the other day Mrs. Bread was driving in the car
with Radar and she saw that he had a clear capsal pill with
little green and red specks in it and a white regular pill.
She didn't know what they were so she asked and Radar told
her they were just "protein" pills-my ass! Mrs. Bread and I
discussed it and we decided that they could be lsd and
extascy (the little white pill could be anything though)
we're not sure, but what we do know is he was acting really
weird because they were going to my house and it was just
screwed. I feel bad for Mrs. Bread because she doesn't know
if she should tell her parents or not. I told her she
should just in case anything was to happen, but to wait
when the time was right. I don't know what else to say to
her, I'm the oldest child in my family, so I don't deal
with this kind of stuff, but I feel for Mrs. Bread.
Outside family issues include me moving to St.Louis for a
bit. I really want to go so I can hang out with Katie (my
cousin) for a while. I really miss her and I really hate
fucking Michigan so I'm thinking of ways to get myself out
of here. The only thing is I'm working my ass off super
hard so I can all my credits for school. I figure if I go
to summer school, all I have to do is mangae through
sophmore year and then I'll have all of my credits. I just
have to figure out when I'm gonna work and stuff so I can
get all that summer school stuff to work. I know I'm a tart
for wanting to go to summer school and missing out on
spending time at my lakehouse, but I really want it out of
the way so I can take college courses sooner, you see where
I'm comming from? I'm not usually classified as a super
smart person, but people say that sometimes just because
I'm in honors english and honors science. What is there
problem? Anyone with some intellegence could do it if they
pushed themselves, even if it's just a little. Look how far
I got with a little effort!
Sorry to cut this short, but I need to be on my way to
school. Writing at 6 am is not that bad for me, it really
gets some things out of my system. Sorry if I lost you in
this one, it kind of all just poured out. Until later,
ps-Shout out to Sarah, thanx again for your response that's
really tight. Also damn crak ho-where's my bling bling??
lol good times in art at 7:00 in the morning!!