CloudDude

Boring and Simple
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2001-11-01 05:27:03 (UTC)

non-Halloween entry :-/

Why can't I just wake up in the morning and have it be a
new day? I've yet to clear my plate of any, let alone all,
of intended projects for the past three weeks. Not even
my "good work ethic" is seeing me through that much.
On the whole, my day was just a bastard child of my
failings of yesterday. Yesterday had just been a bastard
child of the day before. I've yet to be figure a way out
of this endless loop.

One little bright spot, I was basically noticed today more
than I usually am. I had a really f*cked up costume.
Poncho, sombrero, eye mask, indian headband beads, neck
beads, and a plastic bone, and everywhere I went I either
(1) cried "La Revoluci'on" {pretend I can type that word in
Spanish} or (2) ranted about my bone being freedom. I
turned a few heads {even the girl I've had a chrush on
since the 8th grade looked at me weirdly [which meant she
had to acknowledge my existence, at least for a little
while :) ]), some would say for ill, of course. I guess
I'm a little too used to being the unnoticed backround of
society, where I reside in solitude and everyone doesn't
know, doesn't care, or simply both. I realize now that
today was just another stunt of mine, the realization being
I never realized that I was actually pulling stunts. I try
so hard to be imbibed by the populus, I'm accepted, I'm
tolerated, but I'm not one of them, and never will be.
It's increasingly hard for me to accept that. The second I
pass through those school doors, my mindset completely
changes, and I would do things that I would never do
sitting at home in a rational state of mind, all because I
have to be the master of my image, to be able to know what
people are thinking of me by the sheer fact that it's what
I had wanting them to think of me. I'm weird, and there's
nothing I can do about it without losing my hard-earned
place in the social hierarchy. It's quite sad.......

I took my little four-year old brother out trick-or-
treating this afternoon. It was okay. I was in my weird
Mexican-esque look, while he was dressed up as Winnie-the-
Pooh, and definitely looked cuter than I did. We roamed
the neighborhood a few hours, returned home with a few bags
of candy, and we started the daunting task of eating it
all. At least I won't go hungry for the next couple of
weeks..........

I might have to pull another all-nighter today to finish
what I wanted to finish. It would be my third this week,
so I'm basically feelin' its ill-effects. Since I'll have
to do it tomarrow also, I'm quite possibly literally
screwed.......

A simple list of what I have to do (for myself, since I'm
probably going to mix stuff up otherwise).
-A.P. History = 2 1/2 page essay on patriotism due friday
{not started}
-Spanish = tonight's homework: translate a sheet I was
supposedly given, though I don't think I got it; study for
a test on friday {I'm screwed}
-Creative Writing = A short story (1500-2000 words
intended), final draft due Friday {I only have half a rough
draft}; revise and improve some of my crappy poetry, by
Friday {at least I think it's Friday}
-Pre-Calc.= make-up the test I missed; sh/tload of homework
pages for tomorrow
-A.P. Chemistry= somehow figure out the entire
lesson, 'cause I didn't understand a word of it the first
time around. I've got a sh/tload of hw in that too, for
tomorrow
-English = a character analysis essay on a novel due Friday
{not started}


.......Maybe Halloweening this year was a bad
idea............


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