Pandora

girl like me

Oct 31, 01

C'est l'Halloween. bah humbug

I feel bad. Brad came online and I kind of lunged at him
with insults. Why did I do that? Because I wanted him to
know how I felt. I wanted attention. I wanted him to feel
bad. I wanted to feel superior. Didnt work out quite right I
guess.

Im feeling overloaded and stressed again. Im only taking 2
classes! geeze. Im totally lost in caculus. I mean it. I
havnt had to go to World Isses for the past few dyas because
of ISP interviews. Nice break. I dont know if my topic is
even going to work out- it was going to be world
overpopulaion but it turns out we are going to be doing a
whole unit on that. ARG!

http://theblur.diaryland.com - I started a rant site. This
one is for my more private thoughts.

Do you ever feel a need to cry? Im not sad, but its been so
long (like a week) since I last shed a tear that I feel like
Im missing something. Strange huh? Crying brings me some
kind of comfort. Comfort in knowing that I can vent out my
frustrations I guess. I cry more often of frustration than
unhappiness.

I want to start living better (health wise). I want to start
working out at the gym and eating better. Its not going to
happen though.

I got 93% (almost the highest mark in class) on my last WI
test. It was hard, I was proud. Theres a small light at the
end of my tunnel afterall. For now anyways. Im sure it will
disapear when I take my next calc. test. I only want a 70 in
calc. dammit! Is that too much to ask??

I dont know what to wear tomorrow-Im thinking blue jeans and
a comfy top. maybe blue jeans and my Gap knitted sweater.
perfect.

Time for bed.. oh, my muscles are aching. 18 and Im so
falling apart!

PAnda