2001-10-31 23:00:39 (UTC)

Today Would Be My Late Rocky's Birthday!

Dear Diary:
Today would have been my late Rocky's birthday.
He would be 63 years old. He died six years ago
on November 4, 1995.

How I miss him and how my heart is still broken.
I am thankful to both Honey-Bear and Frank for coming into my life and bringing me a little happiness they have.

I still feeling lonely though. Lonely and incomplete. A part of me died when Rocky died on
November 4, 1995.

What I would have done if I had been born with two
livers. I would have sacificed one just to see him live. He died and I died with him. I should have been cremated with him as well.

I am lonely even when I am around someone. I feel
empty as well.

Rocky was my soul mate. He knew when I needed him.
He was allways around when I needed him.

There is a huge void in my life now. An emptyiness no man can ever replace.

Honey-Bear is wonderful. My biggest fear is-is that he will find someone younger than I am and break up with me. Leaving my heart even more broken than what it is now.

He is a real pearl beyond price. I can not figure out why his ex divorced him. He has a sweet nature,
no temper, and very loving. He is an uncurable
romantic at heart. He, himself has been hurt so
much I think he is afraid to love as well.
It is a big step for one such as us to learn to love and trust again. And give our heart to someone else after we have been hurt so bad.

Frank and I have been together since 96. He and I
had something at once. But the romance and avanche
has died out of our relationship. I do not know
if we can relight the fire.

Frank and HoneyBear are very much the same.
They have the same temperaments and personalities.
Both wear their hearts openly on their sleeves.

Frank will never leave me, but one day Honeybear
may find someone else. It will leave me crushed.

I will no longer have the will to live and I will
just give in and die of a broken heart.
Not that it is not broken enough as it is. It is
very broken.

Happy Birthday Dear Rocky. I am thinking of you
on this day. I miss you beloved, I miss you.
I cry even now because I miss you so.

Love AmericanIrishRose.
Karissa Anne