the one who got away

lost somewhere inside of me
2001-10-31 20:03:05 (UTC)

once upon a time there was NOT a happy ending

as i sit here in bio lab i realize two things
biology should not be my major and 2ndly im not gonna mke
it into med-school. im barely passing biology and the lab
isnt much better ....i hate coming to this class....im not
happy..at all!!
im supposed to be doing something that i enjoy. i enjoy
children, singing and i enjoy traveling with righteous
insanity...i often look back at this application i got in
the mail from continental ministry. i sang on cue for some
guy just by chance and they actually accepted me but i was
too young at the time to be traveling all over the
world...but i never in million years would have thought
that i would have had a chance....but thats not a career so
my father says...that wont get me anywhere in life quote
unquote.......but thats what makes me happy...i would love
to become a pediatrician its been my dream for as long as i
can remember but ill never make it
everyone around me seems so confident that i am the best
but im not..i can barely get myself up for class of a
morning..i have always struggled with science and history
yet i want to go into a field that is all science related.
how does that make sense? i would also love to just take a
semester off and get myself together but thats not even a
consideration
i feel so stupid its basic biology im begining to hate
science..i know what you are thinking whay am i biology
major right?
well here is your answer i have to take 3 chem classes 4
bio classesand 2 physics classes to even be considered for
med-school plus i was told that you need to major in a
science to meet the requisits but why would i want to major
in something that im not happy with b/c once im rejected
from med-school i have to have something to fall back on

im so confused and frustrated i want to give up
all the signs point to yes on that one
GIVE UP--------yes!!!!
i would love for all of this to be over or for me to be a
genius so i knew what i was doing and i could understand
EVERYTHING
i mean i graduated in the top 25% of my class but yet i
feel as if iam a failure i cant seem to do anything right
oh well for now im gonna try to deal with whats in front of
me ....so i need to take some notes and ill worry later




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