life in borderspace
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2001-10-31 15:19:11 (UTC)

The day after catharsis

Well things are falling down around me as they should.
There are still those out there that just don't get it.
That's to be expected I suppose. This whole thing isn't
about love....not in the sense that you have your one true
love or the way you love your partner. It's about the
ability to have many people in your life that are important
and that you really feel deeply for without having that be
a weakness. The importance of a friend can be measured by
the amount of sorrow they eliminate from your life...or by
the amount that they try to do so (depending on whether or
not your willing to give up your sorrow). I do find it
amazing the amount of people who find comfort in their
sorrows....who hold on to them as if in some strange way
they serve to define who they are and limit they ways they
interact with people. I use to think this was the
case...that without my sorrows, my tradgedies, my maladies,
and my trauma's I was nothing (at least nothing anyone
would have any interest in). Circumstance has lead me to
realize that the only thing that all these sorrows gives me
is a limited existence...the sorrows allowed everything to
hurt me and draw me under. I too was once blind, but I
have also begun to understand that that doesn't mean I can
teach others to see....especially those who are already
convinced that they are seeing things better than snyone
possibly could. Am I untrustworthy? That depends, as it
does for everyone, on who you are. As I'm sure we are all
aware we deal with different people in different ways
depending on who they are and what else is happening at the
time. Does one decision define who I am...does it give me
a mark against my soul...whatever! Do we always behave the
same way in the same situations? fact we don't.
But what do I know right...nothings being said about me
that the whole world wouldn't say...that automatically
makes me wrong...I will not defend myself (especially not
to people who should know better...who have said as
much...and would preach as much in their own life), but
think about what the whole world would say about your life
and your decision and tell me you agree with them. One day
we all just have to let go even if we only build the same
thing again.