nobody

fragments of thought
2001-10-31 11:43:31 (UTC)

TRUE LIES

the two sat in the house watching tv, she alone, with him
She turned to him, and asked how he was
he told her that he is fine
fine
fine
ok
her voice started telling of something about when she was a
child, and he interrupted
not important
she cried
detachedly went under the blanket
dissociated
she screamed
LEAVE ME ALONE
LEAVE
ME ALONE
LEAVE
ME
ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in silence
she screamed
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL COMMIT SUICIDE!
IM TOO COWARD
BUT ONE DAY I WILL NOT BE TOO COWARDLY
she didnt speak aloud to him until later that night
when his threats and actions were too childish to take
he just mimics her, not caring how she feels
IM SORRY!! OK?!?!?!
he says
just wanting her to shut the hell up
i care
he lies
he lies
to her lies
her lies
i'm happy
says her lies

two weeks later they sit in the car
they had been riding around in a car she has never driven
shes not allowed he told her
but its your car
he told her
her name isnt on it
his moms name insures it
but its your car he lies
LIARRRRRRRR
she screams inside herself

they ride around, went to eat, had a nice quiet time
because the stereo was stolen
they didnt have music
because his mom insures the car
who knows if the stereo will ever be replaced
because it isnt her car
she cannot do anything about it
"its your car" he lies

they stop to relax in a dirty parkinglot
it was dark, so they wanted to be safe
she was silly, and acting silly
they laughed for a little while,
she thought it was fun
as they laughed she wanted to share a story
and started to talk
and he interrupted
not important
she got out of the car
he demanded she get back in
she stood alone
tears falling
drowning her heart
he came to her
yelling
WHY CANT YOU LISTEN TO ME?
LISTEN TO ME!!
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!!
leave me alone!
she said
adding
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU ABOUT MYSELF AGAIN!

inside she is plotting
because there is no way out
im trying to talk her out of it
but she isnt visible anymore


In bed he lays down next to her
but her mind is miles away
and he says
Do you wanna make love??
inside the deadened emotions muse
no i dont wanna make love!
how can i?
how can i feel close to you?

Just dont touch me and i wont feel the pain
dont tell me the truth
so i can live in a rose garden
dont tell me i mean the world to you
and then not care about me
i havent told you everything
everything i wanna share
or
anything i need to share