S

The Diary of S
2001-10-31 02:57:28 (UTC)

Why me?

I was meaning to write in here but I kinda forgot. So...my
boyfriend just dropped me off at work from dinner. Bad
news....his dad isn't going to get a house with us
afterall. I swear. I knew this was going to happen. I knew
it. I mean..why should my life be so grand and wonderful??
I have to live at that shit hole for God knows how long.
Ughhh. I just want to cry.
Today at school we were talking about externship before we
graduate.
We graduate in May and finish school in about April or
March. So we have a few months for externship. We have two
choices.
1.) Do our externship for eight hours a day, five days a
week for a month.
or 2.)Do it for four a day, five days a week for two months.

So, of coarse, I have to do the four hours a day because I
also have a full time job. I was telling some of my friends
and this one girl Jana (who by the way isn't my friend and
I just try to be nice to her) said "That's stupid that you
don't do the one where you can finish in a month" ...all
snobbish.
then I snapped back "Some of us have full time jobs and
have to actually work for their money. they don't get
things handed to them on a sliver platter"
she's so damn snobby and bitchy. her mom gives her what ever
she wants. she pays for her car, insurance, clothes, cell
phone, everything.
God!
I have worked since I was 16. My mom hasn't bought me
barely anything since then. And people that are like Jana
really piss me off. They think that all there life there
parents are going to be there to give them what ever they
want. I can't wait till she actually grows up and realizes
her mommy isn't always going to be there for her.
I just want to slap her!! Bitch!
For anyone that might think I'm jealous...hell ya! Who
wouldn't be. I mean..wouldn't you love your mommy to buy
you whatever the hell you wanted and pay for you car and
insurance and buy you all the clothes you could possible
want or need. I would. But unfortunatly my mom wants me to
learn responsibility and the value of a dollar.

Tomorrow I am going to a job fair to get a job in the
medical field. I reeeeeeeealy hope I find a job so I can
leave this shit-ass job!
One more thing...tomorrow is Halloween and I get to spend
it in the shit hole cube helping customers on the phone all
night until 11! Whyyyyy oh why? I can't even spend it with
my family and it's my baby's 1st Halloween :(

**I know I sound like I'm in a bad mood..and I kinda am. I
mean...here I am, working my ass of at school and work and
I try so hard to be a good mother and wife or girlfriend or
whatever you want to call it...and all I get in return is
shit. Why God? Why do I have to be the one tortured? What
in the world did I do to deserve a messed up life like this?