The Shadow of Myself
2001-10-30 06:53:23 (UTC)

this one just HAS to be different...

Wow.. today was a fun day. Not so much in terms of having
things to worry about (b/c I have a lot of things to worry
about with school.. haha but I'm not talking about those
things at all) yeah.. here I go again.

Another journey starts the way. Another journey starts
today. It's something new.. just like it always is at
first. This time is gonna be different.. I know it. How
many times have we heard that? I bet that just the time we
think it won't be differnt will be the time that it's not.
But we won't see that until it's different.. and we get to
look back on it.

One of my favorite feelings in the world is when you first
start liking someone. It's like when you see them your
world stops... and you're trapped so deep inside your
feelings you can't find your way out. You're basically
usless... except for a few giggles. You always have a huge
smile plastered all the way across your face.. and you're
glowing. How wonderful is it to glow? Then when you get
to talk to them.. you get nervous.. who knows why you do...
but you do... and you try to pretend you're not so you
won't look dorky. But how many times does that work? haha
It usually doesn't. But even better than when you like
someone.. is finding out they feel the same way about you.
Things just get ten times better. The smiles are even
bigger.. and the feelings are even stronger. It's just

I don't want to mess this one up. I don't want to be in
charge of it. It's all in God's hands. It's my own. I
always do it wrong.. I always want the wrong things. This
time is gonna be different.. and I know this for sure.. b/c
I'm not in control of this.. God is.. it's all Him.