0fairywings33

Just another manic monday

October 29th 2001 4:34pm
Current music: Staind-Home

"Today just fell apart like everything right in my face".-
Staind, Home

Today....was monday. Every monday is gruesome because I
fall asleep in all my classes and don't pay attention and
usually I'm pretty lax. Today though, I was more tired than
usual. I had talked to kevin last night on the phone and
he's coming down this weeknd to see my play which is
Sunday ...the day I get to play the role instead of Liz and
I'm all excited. Things are just like....confuggled right
now....re-occuring issues and nightmares....I have the
falling dream a lot. Like there is someone there in my
dream to catch me but they don't...they miss and right
before I hit the ground I wake up in a cold sweat and out
of breath and I lean over as if to put my arm around
someone and I realize that there is no one there...it's
just me ...alone...in the dark. And here I am becoming
that "hypocrite" that I hate....and I don't know exactly
what to do anymore. A lot of my close friends have realized
that I'm not this strong person that they thought I was and
slowly they are loosing faith in me. I went for a run when
I got home from school today ...just around my neighborhood
and I forgot how relesing it was just to go on long walks
and look at how beautiful the trees are. I was trying to
give my hamstring a little exercise cuz I re-pulled it and
I might be outta soccer for a while. It didn't really help
though and I managed to hurt my back in the process. But
then again my back is a question mark to begin with so
yeah....I need a chiropractor (sp?) Well its off to study
for a very big chem test and 140 problems in algebra... god
save me.